White squall

 I was up all night (all right, between two and two-thirty) worrying about poor Tucker Carlson.  Where do you go when you've burned through three cable networks?  I suppose the rightward lunge of CNN could afford him an occasional gig but they already have Corey Lewandowski, Rick Santorum and Adam Kinzinger.  ESPN probably isn't looking for another overt racist after its unfortunate experience with Rush Limbaugh.   There's always CBN but I doubt Pat Robertson wants to share the spotlight with anyone.  (Like Murdoch and Kissinger, he is probably immortal.)  

I think I have the answer:  The Weather Channel.

Since largely abandoning its original mission of giving the local weather every ten minutes (it interfered with the flow of the commercials), The Weather Channel has struggled to reinvent itself.  For a while it was showing movies.  Movies with weather in them, but movies.  The morning shift has an enormous couch and has been encouraged to act like a talk show, covering topics like car maintenance, emergency supplies and flu symptoms, and interviewing locals about their experiences with flooding and snowfall.  They have series like "Storm of Suspicion," about people who take advantage of bad weather to commit murder, and "Fast:  Home Rescue" about people rebuilding their storm-damaged houses.  There's a show called "Weird Earth" for people who like their nature supernatural.  It's the go-to channel for hurricanes, if only to find out if Jim "Catastrophe" Cantore is in your vicinity.  But mostly weather is just not riveting.

Carlson could fix that.  I can see him interviewing climate-change deniers, "just asking questions" about whether Big Pharma causes disease, and giving a platform to the latest conspiracy theories.  After all, many people in his Fox News audience are sure the Deep State has the technology to cause horrific weather.  "Have you noticed all the tornadoes in Oklahoma and Texas?  But there are no tornadoes in Delaware.  Who lives in Delaware?  Come on, people, isn't it obvious?"  "You have to ask why floods in Florida now.  And how did they end the drought in California?"  "Why have we never had a hurricane named Hillary or Kamala or Ketanji...Katinji...whatever it is?"  "Maybe if those Soros-backed meteorologists got it right their maps wouldn't have to be corrected at the highest level."

"After the break, Robert Kennedy, Jr., will explain how vaccines cause cancer.  By the way, have you noticed that since the Democrat Party took over in Michigan there hasn't been a single earthquake there?  I wonder why that is."

Who says there are no fourth acts in American lives?