There is a fifth dimension...

 

I am considering a switch to a drug-based diet.  Reality is becoming too much of a challenge.

Over the weekend I became aware that the newest front in the culture war is toilet paper.  Stop worrying about gas stoves, toddlers with shotguns, woke beer and drag queens because this is really important.  Would you believe a "psychic QAnon influencer" named Utsava who says the Deep State is putting 5G technology in toilet paper (and jalapeno peppers) to control your mind?  Well, how about a member of Congress?  It's only George Santos but he's still a Congressman; Squeaker McCarthy lacks the courage to strip him of his AR-15 pin.  He saw an April 1 tweet by New York City Councilman Erik Bottcher about banning "toilet paper, paper towels, Kleenex and other single-use paper products," making New York the first "cloth-only municipality."  Santos, who is unfamiliar with the April Fool tradition, had to be reassured that Big Bidet is not coming for his Charmin.

Two other fronts collided when Lindsey Graham went on ABC's This Week With George Stephanopoulos and denounced Jack Teixeira for leaking military secrets and Margie Greene for cheering him on ("irresponsible").  Greene responded with reserve and dignity by tweeting a photoshopped picture of Graham holding a fake can of Bud Light featuring a picture of trans influencer Dylan Mulvaney.  I don't have time to go into that lunacy now but the MAGAts are buying Bud so they can shoot at it -- their version of a boycott -- because Anheuser Busch decided they'd sell more beer with a rainbow flag (not Mulvaney) on it, and Margie wants us to know she's hip to the worst-kept secret in the history of the Senate.  I guess that will put Graham in his place.

After this it gets grim in a hurry.

This is Ralph Yarl, 16, honor student and musician of Kansas City, Missouri, who drove to the home of a friend Saturday to pick up his younger siblings.  He went to the wrong house and rang the bell, whereupon an as-yet-unnamed white man in his 80s shot him in the head through the storm door and then in the arm as he lay on the ground.  According to his aunt Dr. Faith Spoonmore he was able to seek help, which he found at the third house he tried, although the homeowner insisted he lie down and raise his hands.  The police came and talked to the gunman for two hours but left without arresting him.  I imagine he was standing his ground like the McCloskeys over in St. Louis.  Miraculously, Ralph Yarl is home being cared for by his mother and a nurse.  

The pie fight between Disney and DeSantis ramped up a notch, with the Governissimo threatening to build a prison next to the theme park.  He also promised to have the rides inspected, something that evidently has not been done before.  As this view of Champlain Towers suggests, safety regulations are not very stringent in Florida.

Like Justin Pearson and Justin Jones, Alvin Bragg now has a national profile thanks to the bumbling of Republicans.  In the DA's case it's the traveling carnival that Gym Jordan led to New York to "investigate" the city's crime, which is nowhere near as bad as Ohio's.  "Sleazy liar" and "traitor" were some of the signs that greeted him, and C-SPAN isn't even showing it to the knuckle-draggers back home.   

Quick, Henry, the Flit!  Interstellar cockroach in a dentist skin Paul Gosar is back, using his House newsletter (taxpayer funded) to promote a website that praises Hitler and warns:  "Jewish warmongers Nuland and Blinken are dangerous fools who can get us all killed."  Besides being disgusting, Gosar is famous for having family members who take out an ad every two years begging people not to vote for him.  

They're not alone.  Now that Robert Kennedy, Jr., has announced his intention to challenge Joe Biden for the nomination, prominent members of his vast family are stepping forward with non-endorsements ranging from "I'm supporting President Biden" to "I prefer not to talk."  His support, such as it is, comes from heavyweights like Aaron Rodgers, Roger Stone and Steve Bannon.  I will be very surprised if this exercise doesn't end before the South Carolina primary.  

Bernard Herrmann wrote the music.  I didn't know that.