Out of the past

Let's start the week by making Megyn Kelly's head explode.

Ten years ago Kelly became a hero of Fox News's "War on Christmas" when she asserted, "Santa just is white.  Jesus was a white man, too."  Not so fast, says the Catholic Bishops' Conference of England and Wales, releasing the above image as part of its Racial Justice Sunday event.  Let the screaming begin.

Harry Whittington, who apologized to Vice President Dick Cheney back in 2006 for inserting his face in front of Cheney's load of birdshot, has died at age 95.  Now can Cheney be prosecuted for murder?  There was talk of charging John Hinckley, Jr., when James Brady died thirty-three years after being shot, but Hinckley had already been found insane.  Surely that's not the case with Darth Cheney.

Sasha Walpole has identified herself as the woman who relieved Prince Harry of his virginity in a field in Wiltshire when he was sixteen.  "We were both drunk," she explained.  She is two years older and this is a literal case of grooming, as she worked for his father as a groom.  

You had a close call, Baltimore -- these two were plotting to destroy your power facilities.  Meet Brandon Russell and Sara Beth Clendaniel.  Russell founded Atomwaffen Division in 2013 and previously served sixty months when the police discovered his arsenal while investigating a different crime; Clendaniel used to commit burglaries armed with a machete.  

Thousands of people in Texas still have no electricity -- no Nazis, just incompetent state government.  Here are some folks in Austin, the capital, rummaging in dumpsters for food which may have spoiled when the supermarket lost power.  It's Mad Max Tex.

But corporate taxes are really low!

Demented fascist Ron DeSantis has set his sights on the Orlando Philharmonic because they presented a holiday show called "A Drag Queen Christmas" and did not bar children (anyone under 18).  Wait till Florida Grand Opera stages Hansel und Gretel (1893).  Hansel is a played by a mezzo-soprano, the Witch is played by a tenor and the Governissimo will split in half like Rumpelstiltskin.  We can only hope.

"It's not a life that I think is like something that I enjoy because I don't enjoy it," Empty Greene complained to Glenn Greenwald, because she saves her fanciest rhetoric for podcasts.  She wants a raise.  I cannot make this shit up.

For the second time this year a woman pronounced dead by a nursing home was found to be alive when she arrived at the mortuary.  In January a 66-year-old with Alzheimer's in a hospice in Urbandale, Iowa, was sent off for premature burial; now a woman of 82 in Port Jefferson, Long Island, has confounded her caregivers.  You know what's coming:

  

Aramark is at it again.  To mark Black History Month the Philadelphia-based food service company provided fried chicken and watermelon to the students at a Nyack, New York, middle school.  It's not the first time:  in 2011 they celebrated Martin Luther King Day with fried chicken and waffles at the University of California, Irvine.  Who keeps hiring these people?