Nicki Minaj's cousin's friend's balls

How did that story end?  Are they still swollen?  Is there video?

Monday caption contest:

1.  "Comment?"  "Shto?"

2.  "We couldn't be farther apart on NATO, could we?"

3.  "I'm allergic, too.  Just ask them to remove the flowers."

4.  ______________________________________

"Trump's advisers deny any nefarious intent" is a sentence that responsible newspapers automatically include in any story about the twice-impeached loser.  Hey, here it is in the Washington Post article about the "multiple" boxes of documents which the National Archives had to retrieve from Mar a Lago.  The advisers maintain that the coup-plotting rapist thought he was entitled to keep the "love letters" from Kim Jong-un, the traditional letter Barack Obama left in his desk, and other "mementos, gifts, letters from world leaders" and assorted bric-a-brac.  While shredding many state documents with his own tiny hands, Trump preserved anything he might be able to sell to collectors or use to decorate his tacky trattorias, without running the risk of self-incrimination.  (Whatever he stuffed in the "burn bags" is of course beyond recovery.)

Glenn Youngkin finds the governor's mansion in Richmond too cramped.  That must be why he wants to empty a room which had been used by an on-site historian to teach visitors about slavery and use it for a sitting room.  For this celebration of Black History Month Youngkin was criticized by a 17-year-old student named Ethan Lynn.  The big man responded by posting a picture of Lynn with former governor Ralph Northam, who was accused of wearing blackface in college.  You libs are the real racists.  Then he went to get his forelock curled so he doesn't look too Hitlery.

In other News of the Delusional, Andrew Cuomo says he's ready to run for office (unspecified).  Cuomo, who dodged impeachment last year, echoed Richard Nixon:  "I never resigned because I said I did something wrong.  I said, I'm resigning because I don't want to be a distraction."  If the governor does it that means it's not illegal, he didn't add.

Is Kutztown, Pennsylvania, typical of Real America, the golden land crisscrossed by New York Times reporters to learn all about the economic anxieties of coffee shop habitues?  (Not Starbucks, you elitist, places that serve ham & eggs and have Steve Bannon's podcast on).  I have no idea, but a group of students there have formed a Banned Book Club to meet and figure out why so many alleged grown-ups are hot to keep them from reading.  They're currently reading Animal Farm, the Lolita of political satire -- when it was published in August 1945 it was banned in the Soviet Union for obvious reasons, banned in the UK as a sop to Stalin and later banned in Florida for being "pro-communist."  Then they plan to read Angie Thomas's The Hate U Give, about a white police officer shooting an unarmed Black man.  I only wish the article hadn't revealed their meeting place, the Firefly book store. 

By grim coincidence a Black man named Amir Locke was shot in his Minneapolis apartment by police executing a "no-knock" warrant last week.  He was asleep in the living room when they burst in shouting; it is alleged that he pulled out a (legal) gun.  I probably would have.  Locke was not named in the warrant.  In frigid cold, protests continue.  

Last October Ryan Utterback was at a meeting of the Gladstone, Missouri, school board demanding the removal of LGBTQ books.  Now he's been arrested for molesting children.  Bet he says Heather Has Two Mommies made him do it.