Spring forward

 I'm a little punchy today because I had to get up at 2 am and set my watch ahead.  Pick one, OK?

But seriously, folks, it's a good sign when we can worry about other countries more than this one.  For instance, what in hell is up with the Brits?  On March 3 a 33-year-old woman named Sarah Everard was kidnapped on the street in London and her body was found in the woods of Kent.  A policeman, Wayne Couzens, was charged with murder.  Last night a vigil on Clapham Common was violently broken up by police, allegedly for violating pandemic lockdown rules.  It was like watching American police attack BLM, but most of these demonstrators were white.  There are calls for the Metropolitan Police commissioner, Cressida Dick, to resign.  Even Home Secretary and Iron Lady-wannabe Priti Patel, who has no problem with holding asylum seekers in decrepit army barracks, wants an investigation.  

Then there's the shocking discovery of racism in the Royal household, nearly ninety years after a former king was seen hanging out with Hitler.  No need to rehash Oprah's Interview of the Century or Piers Morgan's big flounce-off from some breakfast-time show.  Over in France Charlie Hebdo reminded everyone of why it's such a beloved institution with a cartoon of the Queen kneeling on Meghan Markle's neck.  I suppose the message is that racism is racism whether you're a duchess or a truckdriver, but the effect was to trivialize both Markle's emotional pain and George Floyd's murder.  Nice job, mes amis.

Maybe the British are just stir-crazy and angry from trying to navigate the tier system of rolling lockdowns.  They certainly seem more fascinated by their shit than anyone should be post-potty training, and by shit I mean shit.  There's important information buried in the article (of course you should see a doctor if there's a lot of blood) but it's easy to get sidetracked by the do-it-yourself bidet kit and the inevitable Gwyneth Paltrow discursion.  Can you imagine Ingrid Bergman or Myrna Loy...never mind.

The Biden-Harris administration is on a roll, with the Rescue act its big Act I finale.  (For just one example, thousands of airline and airport workers got a message that said "That furlough?  Never mind."  A furlough is a temporary layoff where you don't get unemployment and the company doesn't have to pay you, either, because "furlough" sounds better than "screwing.")  And that trillion dollars plus is going for all kinds of good stuff like daycare and vaccinations and everything but states funding tax cuts, very very unfair, won't someone think of the people who leave huge estates?  At least seven Republican senators are so unhappy being in the minority that they're going to retire rather than be bullied and ignored.  Do I hear eight?  Two things that never go away are herpes and Trump, and there was a flare-up this week when Jane Mayer's article in The New Yorker delved into the Manhattan DA's investigation of the Trump Organization and its skeevy practices.  Not everyone enjoys the minutiae of legal procedure, so for the rest of us there was a boggling account of Trump attending a shivah for the mother of his CFO Allen Weisselberg.  According to Weisselberg's former daughter-in-law, he hit on her after disparaging the house in Wantagh ("It's embarrassing!") and sharing pictures of himself with naked women on a yacht.  He probably complained that he couldn't adjust his hair because all the mirrors were covered.  This is why the McCain and Bush families didn't want him at funerals.  

Speaking of appalling behavior, remember when Roseanne Barr wrote that tweet comparing Valerie Jarrett to an ape and then claimed Ambien made her do it?  And Sanofi, the French company that makes Ambien, pointed out that "racism is not a known side effect of any known Sanofi medication"?  I wonder if they also make a drug for diabetes.  Because Oklahoma sports announced Matt Rowan was heard calling a high school basketball team "n------" because they offended him by kneeling during the anthem to protest racism.  They won anyway, while Rowan ascribed his racism to a blood-sugar spike.  He should get his meds adjusted, as should Ron Johnson.  The Wisconsin senator says he wasn't afraid on January 6 because most of the rioters were "people that love this country, that truly respect law enforcement."  You know, white people.  Had they been BLM protesters or those damned elusive antifas, he would have taken shelter with all the other...wait, what?  Why are there no pictures of RonJon greeting the Prod Boys as liberators, with flowers and sweets?

You don't suppose all the enslavement, brutality, racism and murder of the last four hundred years were  caused by white people's faulty metabolism, do you?  This is so easy to fix.  Some insulin, a piece of candy, and we've got ourselves a civilization.  

Spring is a time of hope.