Lady Gaga's bulldogs

 Is anyone surprised that a dognapping, however violent, has to be investigated by the FBI?  Two men jumped out of a car in Los Angeles and shot Ryan Fischer four times as he was walking Lady Gaga's French bulldogs on Wednesday night.  They got away with two dogs; one escaped.  The feds are involved because of a report that the singer was targeted after she performed at Joe Biden's inauguration last month.  

If that seems far-fetched, try this:  Acting Capitol Police Chief Yogananda Pittman told a House subcommittee, "We know that members of the militia groups that were present on January 6 have stated their desires that they want to blow up the Capitol and kill as many members as possible" when Biden addresses a joint session of Congress in the coming weeks.  I give this Guido Fawkes fantasy a big "C'mon, man," but I understand why it has to be taken seriously.  To kill everyone they hate the Trumpanzees would cheerfully sacrifice Hawley, Greene, Boebert, Gohmert, Ron Johnson, Jordan, Paul, Scalise, Cruz, Gaetz, Gosar, both Scotts, Nunes, Blackburn, Graham, Kennedy and two-thirds of the Supreme Court.  Martyrs to be worshiped like the Golden Idol.

You haven't?   Permit me:

 

  I have trouble believing this is an authentic feature of CrapPAC, since one of the men is wearing a mask.  (Boo!  Freedom!)  Also the hair appears to be based on Conway Twitty c. 1959.  And what about those flip-flops?

I guess we'll know if they pray to it.

A report from the Director of National Intelligence says Mohammad bin Salman approved the murder of Jamal Khashoggi.  But you knew that.

The Senate parliamentarian has decided that the minimum wage can't be increased to a paltry $15 as part of the covid relief bill.  See if I vote for her again.

Matt Gaetz is in Orlando bewailing the real crisis facing America, the neutering of Mr. Potato Head (the toy, not the governor of Florida).

Self-board-certified ophthlamologist Rand Paul is also a self-certified expert on transgender medicine.  His bigotry knowledge was on display as he questioned assistant HHS secretary nominee Rachel Levine.  Rand has not read anything longer than an eye chart since he finished Atlas Shrugged.

In a conference call with health leaders, Queen Elizabeth urged Britons to get a covid shot.  Of course she would say that, she's queen of the lizard people!

This one keeps getting better:  the police reviewed South Dakota AG Jason Ravensborg's phone records and discovered he was engrossed in a Washington Times conspiracy theory about Joe and Hunter Biden when he smashed into and killed Joseph Boever.  It's not hit-and-run if you have to get right home and finish the article, then share it with your email list.  Priorities.

I hope the bulldogs are all right.