Me and Julio, or The Return of the Lizard People

 Just a peaceful Sunday in January, time to tune out the Senate seditionists and watch a little football, right?  Right?

Well, no.  The "manifesto" from RV bomber Anthony Warner has surfaced in the form of packages containing typed pages and thumb drives he sent to acquaintances with a letter signed "Julio" (the name of his dog, apparently).  He wasn't enraged at AT&T and its 5G technology, as some speculated.  He was, according to WTVF in Nashville, worried about 9/11, the moon landing and the Lizard People.  You remember David Icke, soccer player-turned-conspiracy theorist.  Those Lizard People.  WTVF has not released much of the material to avoid giving Warner any more notoriety, although the blast-hole in downtown Nashville has probably made him famous enough.  Need we worry about more disintegrated RVs?  Well, Icke has thousands of readers including, disturbingly, Alice Walker.  Walker wrote a poem called "It Is Our (Frightful) Duty To Study the Talmud."  Warner built a bomb.

Have I spoiled your pleasure in the Steelers-Browns game?  Just wait.  You probably thought the third recount and the -- fifth? -- court ruling had closed the books on Georgia and its fourteen electoral votes for 2020.  Foolish human. Trump is calling state officials and strong-arming them as if they were the president of Ukraine, because he got away with strong-arming the president of Ukraine.  Today he spent an hour on the phone with Brad Raffensperger -- is it weird that I'm starting to feel sympathy for this guy? -- begging/demanding/threatening him to "find 11,780 votes" (one more than Biden's margin of victory).  Trump had Mark Meadows and his newest crazypants lawyer Cleta Mitchell on the line, but Raffensperger, who didn't just arrive in Atlanta on a truckload of peaches, taped the call and the tape is already in the hands of the Washington Post.  Thus emboldened, other Republican secretaries of state may come forward with similar tales of high crimes and misdemeanors.  

Trump is stupid enough, and desperate enough, to believe that the sedition kabuki to be performed on Wednesday by Senator Haw-Haw and eleven other idiots (and an undisclosed number of House idiots) can still change the election result.  At this point Mike Pence's position seems to be 1) let them posture for the Trumpanzees back home, 2) confirm the results from the electors and 3) get out of town.  He has no power to do anything else.  There won't be an "audit" or a do-over or a military coup, just a lot of burlesque to lower the US one more notch in the estimation of the world.  A parting bag of flaming dogshit from the shittiest president to date and, kinehora and imsh'allah, for all time.