Slouching toward midnight

 ...when it all comes slithering down.  I'm facing the future with a clean scalp and an empty desk.

In a year distinguished by time-wasting lawsuits, this is my favorite:  Robert Galinsky of Yonkers is suing King's Hawaiian of Honolulu in a Manhattan court because its Hawaiian sweet rolls are actually made in California.  As it clearly says on the package.  May I suggest King's Hawaiian point out that Galinsky does not live in Manhattan, for a start, and is also a raging nutter?   

Gov. Mike DeWine reports that sixty percent of Ohio nursing home employees refuse to take the covid vaccine.  Surely this is grounds for dismissal.

The Secret Service was founded to track down counterfeiters but its main job now is protecting the president and vice-president for the rest of their lives.  The presidential detail is being "reorganized" because of fears that Trump has salted it with fanatics and potential assassins.  America in a nutshell 2020 -- we have to worry that his bodyguards will do to Joe Biden what the Praetorian Guard did to Caligula in 41 CE.

How many In Memoriams do I have to watch before somebody remembers Terence McNally?  

Trump is sure that Brad Raffensperger's brother Ron "works for China and they definitely don't want 'Trump.'"  Yes, he now puts scare-quotes around his own name.  He relayed this very important information from Dick Morris (remember that asshole?), who now graces Newsmax.  Raffensperger does not have a brother named Ron or anything else, but why let facts get in the way?  Hey!  Maybe Stacey Abrams is his sister, too!  As Fats Waller used to say, "One never knows, do one?"

South Dakota Governor and Sturgis Homecoming Queen Kristi Noem posted a photo of herself on Instagram with a flamethrower.  This was bound to happen after the 2008 Republican convention, when Sarah Palin toted an assault rifle onstage.  Rep-elect Lauren Boebert is so afraid of the Democrats, she promises to carry her sidearm on the House floor and has already pledged Free Dumb Caucus.  Will Nikki Haley continue the Repub Gals Arms Race by acquiring a bazooka?  Stay tuned.

The competition for Trump's Looniest Lawyer is equally fierce, and L. Lin Wood enters the new year with a commanding lead.  Today he used his Twitter account (soon to be cancelled, I'd guess) to assert that Jeffrey Epstein is still alive, that John Roberts probably killed Antonin Scalia and is also a pedophile.  When people demurred, he whined about "defamation."  Then he urged the patriots to stockpile "Second Amendment supplies" in case Biden tries to seize power on January 20.  He also calls Roberts and Stephen Breyer "profane anti-Trumpers," whatever the hell that means.  Kanye West called, Lin.  He says for god's sake take your meds.

Now that Brexit has been achieved, Stanley Johnson is applying for a French passport.  He says he'd rather be a European than a citizen of Britain, of which his son Boris is prime minister.  Ouch!

We broke our own record with 3,764 covid deaths on the last day of the year.  On January 19 Joe Biden will lead the nation in lighting candles and ringing bells at the Lincoln Memorial to commemorate all the dead of the Trumpandemic.  Even FDR in 1933 didn't come into office like this.

Before I go I'd like to thank Google for making it harder to write this, especially the links.  Had to be said.  

Enough.  We're all tired and fed up to here, and I plan to spend the night listening to the late Scottish singer/songwriter Jackie Leven on YouTube.  If Dylan or Lou Reed could really sing.  Treat yourself.  This guy was great.  Why am I just finding out now?  Thank you, Ian Rankin, and happy Hogmanay.