Turn your head and cough

 I have some questions.

When a doctor improbably named Sean Conley ("Either this man is dead or my watch has stopped, Moneypenny") says Trump is practically ready to go home, but won't confirm how much oxygen they've had to give him or even when the first symptoms occurred, should we believe him?

Does anybody else remember that Mike Pence was in charge of the coronavirus "task force"?  

When Trump went joy-riding to wave to his Proud Boys (who have been allowed to bother all the other patients with their singing), and then returned to the most luxurious hospital suite on earth, did anyone think of the Secret Service?  Also, why did it require a procession of gas-guzzling SUVs to haul him around the block?  Does he need to hear the cheers of the cult every day?

Why did we need video of Trump signing blank pieces of paper to demonstrate his work ethic?  Is this what he normally does all day?

Why do I keep thinking of that crudely faked photo of Mao Zedong "swimming" the Yangtze?  Hey, here it is!

Are you enjoying the Twitter silence?

Claudia Conway announced that she, like her mother, has covid.  Will this help her effort to become an emancipated minor?

Michael Moore was just on the Al Sharpton show debating Christian responses to the Trump diagnosis.  Three days ago he was suggesting a conspiracy to gain sympathy by pretending to have covid.  Is it time for Moore to shut up and go away?

Which lucky nurse won the pool to insert Trump's Foley catheter?  If necessary, of course.  Not just for giggles, which would be unethical.

How long before Spellcheck stops questioning "covid"?  There it goes again!

An army of investigators is now contact-tracing everyone who partied in the Rose Garden and Lordy, it's like a deadly version of "Six Degrees of Kevin Bacon."  In fact, Bacon may be the only American adult who isn't getting nose-swabbed today.  So, no more "slow down the testing"?

Why am I not surprised that William Barr wipes his nose with his hand?  In public.

Was it a little too gracious of Biden to pull his TV ads today?  Never mind, Joe, don't listen to me, you're up by 52-39 percent according to the Wall Street Journal   It's 279-125 in the Electoral College if you're coloring in your map in the hospital.  Check out the toss-up states:  Texas, Florida, Ohio, Arizona, GEORGIA.  Eat that with your green Jell-o, Donnie.

Last week wealthy Trumpanzees paid $250,000 to snuggle up to President Virus at an indoor event in Bedminster, New Jersey.  Suggested title for the next one:  YOU BET YOUR LIFE (with apologies to the one, the only Groucho). 

Jaime Harrison (whose great-aunt died of covid in July) isn't relying on masks -- he had a plexiglass divider between him and Lindsey Graham at their debate.  When Kamala Harris and Pence face off, should they do it in isolation booths like the ones in 1950s game shows?  These debates are basically $64,000 Question anyway.

Ronny "Candyman" Jackson was the doctor who certified Trump as spectacularly healthy and weighing a lean 239.  Jackson took time out from his Congressional campaign to tweet:  "Our President and First Lady have tested positive for COVID-19, however, rest assured they are both fine and completely asymptotic [sic].  The President is in very good health and has NO comorbities [sic]."  Thank you for that long-distance diagnosis, a Republican specialty.  WHERE did you study medicine again?  Better elect him, Texas Thirteenth, or he might try to practice there.

Chris Christie is also hospitalized, and his "comorbities" include obesity and asthma.  If I'm tempted to feel sympathy, I recall the Christie family enjoying July 4th on a beach that was closed to everyone else, and the deliberate traffic snarl around the George Washington Bridge (which could well have involved ambulances) just to flip the bird to the mayor of Fort Lee.  All better!  Try it.