Trash talk
Trump is being mocked for suggesting he and Biden take a drug test before their first debate, but I think it's a splendid idea. They should also be weighed -- not by some drunken Navy doctor afraid for his career, but publicly as before a fight. Trump may think he can beat a urine test (maybe he got some tips from Lance Armstrong or the Russian Olympic Committee), but nobody beats the scale.
Here's another suggestion for Fight Night: Biden says Trump has "Property of V. Putin" tattooed on his ass. Trump, who understands neither metaphor nor propriety, triumphantly drops his pants to prove it's not true. That should separate the MAGAts from the right-leaning.
More drugs...Junior insists he wasn't coked out of his mind, it was the lights or the heat or maybe an allergy. Yeah, ragweed, it's bad this year. "Either he's high," said Stephen Colbert, "or that's what happens when you live in the splash zone of Screamin' Guilfoyle." People who got high before watching report that they thought the speech made a lot of sense.
Remember the time Trump lost his shit at Number 10? You don't? It was a formal lunch with Prime Minister Theresa May and he yelled at Michael Flynn for making him miss a call from the boss, Vladimir Putin. Chief of Staff Nick Timothy was there. I believe him.
In further Fuck the Hatch Act news, a Trump appointee was sent to New York City to interview residents about conditions in their buildings. Three of them are angry to find the videos used in the Republican convention. Two of the new citizens also say they were not asked in advance whether they wanted their swearing-in to be televised.
Alice Johnson got a full pardon from Trump today, and all she had to do was show up at his convention and praise him. No money changed hands. Isn't that special?
David Farenthold of the Washington Post has been compiling information on the grifting at Mar a Lago and other Trump hellholes, and now the White House says it's compiling "a very large 'dossier'" on him. Congratulations, Mr. Farenthold, it's more prestigious than a Pulitzer.
It's a truism of politics that Ted Kennedy's political hopes ended when Roger Mudd asked why he wanted to be president and he couldn't put together a coherent answer. Like this:
"But so I think, I think it would be, I think it would be very, very, I think we'd have a very, very solid, we would continue what we're doing, we'd solidify what we've done, and we have other things on our plate we want to get done."
Bring on the drug test.
Here's another suggestion for Fight Night: Biden says Trump has "Property of V. Putin" tattooed on his ass. Trump, who understands neither metaphor nor propriety, triumphantly drops his pants to prove it's not true. That should separate the MAGAts from the right-leaning.
More drugs...Junior insists he wasn't coked out of his mind, it was the lights or the heat or maybe an allergy. Yeah, ragweed, it's bad this year. "Either he's high," said Stephen Colbert, "or that's what happens when you live in the splash zone of Screamin' Guilfoyle." People who got high before watching report that they thought the speech made a lot of sense.
Remember the time Trump lost his shit at Number 10? You don't? It was a formal lunch with Prime Minister Theresa May and he yelled at Michael Flynn for making him miss a call from the boss, Vladimir Putin. Chief of Staff Nick Timothy was there. I believe him.
In further Fuck the Hatch Act news, a Trump appointee was sent to New York City to interview residents about conditions in their buildings. Three of them are angry to find the videos used in the Republican convention. Two of the new citizens also say they were not asked in advance whether they wanted their swearing-in to be televised.
Alice Johnson got a full pardon from Trump today, and all she had to do was show up at his convention and praise him. No money changed hands. Isn't that special?
David Farenthold of the Washington Post has been compiling information on the grifting at Mar a Lago and other Trump hellholes, and now the White House says it's compiling "a very large 'dossier'" on him. Congratulations, Mr. Farenthold, it's more prestigious than a Pulitzer.
It's a truism of politics that Ted Kennedy's political hopes ended when Roger Mudd asked why he wanted to be president and he couldn't put together a coherent answer. Like this:
"But so I think, I think it would be, I think it would be very, very, I think we'd have a very, very solid, we would continue what we're doing, we'd solidify what we've done, and we have other things on our plate we want to get done."
Bring on the drug test.
posted by Buttermilk Sky at 6:58 PM
1 Comments:
""But so I think, I think it would be, I think it would be very, very, I think we'd have a very, very solid, we would continue what we're doing..."
Am I the only one who thinks that in saying the above, Trump came perilously close to plagiarizing an old Sinatra song? To wit:
I'll never find the words
That say enough, tell enough, I mean they just aren't swell enough.
You're much too much, and just too "very, very"
To ever be in Webster's Dictionary.
And so I'm borrowing a love song from the birds
To tell you that you're marvelous - too marvelous for words.
Well, at least Sinatra's words rhyme. But even so, I can tell a campaign promise from the birds when I hear one.
Yours crankily,
The New York Crank
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