Is it safe yet?
"Donzo and the Dead-eyed Droogs" has finally ended, worst mini-series ever. Produced at public expense and fueled by every controlled substance the PSAs warned you against, it horrified people all over the world and left many Americans hoping the pandemic would end their misery soon.
First the important news as far as Trump is concerned: the ratings were lousy. The Democratic convention won every night but Tuesday, when the coveted 18-49 male demographic tuned in hoping the First Escort would experience a wardrobe malfunction. But no, the bra built by the Army Corps of Engineers held and she marched through her extended medley of Hallmark Cards like the Red Army liberating Slovenia. Sorry, guys.
Jim Gaffigan, our pre-eminent Catholic comedian, was disgusted with the faith-shaming on display Wednesday, tweeting, "Fuck Lou Holtz. Biden is Catholic in name only? Compared to who? How many abortions did trump pay for? How many women has he raped?...Wake up. He's a crook and a con man." Etc. Although it's doubtful the short-fingered vulgarian ever paid for anything. Contractors who worked on the pile of rubble formerly known as the Trump Taj Mahal are still waiting, and a lot of them have judgments. Like the man said, a crook.
Even more pissed than Gaffigan are fans of Leonard Cohen, whose "Hallelujah" was played last night for some mystifying reason (maybe someone remembered it was used in an episode of The West Wing). Everything about last night was baffling but why start down that road? Hatch Act violation aside, I couldn't care less about the Pences at Fort McHenry -- it's a miserable anthem and should be replaced. Pence's scheduled speech at Wisconsin Lutheran College has been cancelled because of continued turmoil in Kenosha. Scared, Mikey? We'll have to call you Pussy Pence.
The reason for the "unrest" is of course the utterly unjustified shooting of Jacob Blake by Officer Rusten Sheskey, who has yet to be charged with anything. Blake spent most of the day handcuffed to his bed, despite possibly permanent paralysis, because Sheskey's friends claim he had a knife in his car in addition to three terrified children. This case is so egregious that the United Nations has taken notice. Congratulations, America. Now we're basically Myanmar.
Kyle Rittenhouse loves the police (and Trump) so much, he got his mother to drive him to Kenosha from Illinois so he could defend them by killing two people and wounding a third after someone threw a plastic bag in his direction ("self-defense"). I was flabbergasted to read that one of his lawyers is a Q Qrazy. No, what's the word? Bored. That's it.
Still no indictments in the shooting of Breonna Taylor, but you'll doubtless be hearing from Tin-Tray Tucker in a few hours that her former boyfriend Jamarcus Glover was arrested on drug charges. If his presence in the house didn't justify killing her while she slept, you must be a radical left Antifa who hates America. I'll bet you were one of the mob who surrounded Rand Paul last night as he walked home from the White House and shouted at him, causing him to soil his panties. Bad mob! Now I have less respect for the neighbor who allegedly assaulted him -- maybe he just made a scary face from the other side of the hedge.
Senator Paul must be hiding under his bed as the Get Your Knee Off Our Necks march arrived at the Lincoln Memorial today. Letetra Widman, Jacob Blake's sister, summed up this week and this miserable four years: "America, your reality is not real. We will not pretend. We will not be your docile slave. We will not be a footstool to oppression. We will not dress up this genocide in blue and call it 'police brutality.' We will only pledge allegiance to the truth...Black men, stand up. Stand up, Black men, and educate yourselves."
That's a speech. Not Trump's potted history of white America punctuated with complaints about all the words "they" won't let you say anymore and "wild-eyed Marxists like Bernie Sanders." Absent John Lewis and Malcolm X and Martin Luther King, she brought it and threw it in his oozing orange face.
A thousand Americans die of covid every day. That's 67,000 between now and November 3. At least another 60,000 before January 20. And it never had to happen.
First the important news as far as Trump is concerned: the ratings were lousy. The Democratic convention won every night but Tuesday, when the coveted 18-49 male demographic tuned in hoping the First Escort would experience a wardrobe malfunction. But no, the bra built by the Army Corps of Engineers held and she marched through her extended medley of Hallmark Cards like the Red Army liberating Slovenia. Sorry, guys.
Jim Gaffigan, our pre-eminent Catholic comedian, was disgusted with the faith-shaming on display Wednesday, tweeting, "Fuck Lou Holtz. Biden is Catholic in name only? Compared to who? How many abortions did trump pay for? How many women has he raped?...Wake up. He's a crook and a con man." Etc. Although it's doubtful the short-fingered vulgarian ever paid for anything. Contractors who worked on the pile of rubble formerly known as the Trump Taj Mahal are still waiting, and a lot of them have judgments. Like the man said, a crook.
Even more pissed than Gaffigan are fans of Leonard Cohen, whose "Hallelujah" was played last night for some mystifying reason (maybe someone remembered it was used in an episode of The West Wing). Everything about last night was baffling but why start down that road? Hatch Act violation aside, I couldn't care less about the Pences at Fort McHenry -- it's a miserable anthem and should be replaced. Pence's scheduled speech at Wisconsin Lutheran College has been cancelled because of continued turmoil in Kenosha. Scared, Mikey? We'll have to call you Pussy Pence.
The reason for the "unrest" is of course the utterly unjustified shooting of Jacob Blake by Officer Rusten Sheskey, who has yet to be charged with anything. Blake spent most of the day handcuffed to his bed, despite possibly permanent paralysis, because Sheskey's friends claim he had a knife in his car in addition to three terrified children. This case is so egregious that the United Nations has taken notice. Congratulations, America. Now we're basically Myanmar.
Kyle Rittenhouse loves the police (and Trump) so much, he got his mother to drive him to Kenosha from Illinois so he could defend them by killing two people and wounding a third after someone threw a plastic bag in his direction ("self-defense"). I was flabbergasted to read that one of his lawyers is a Q Qrazy. No, what's the word? Bored. That's it.
Still no indictments in the shooting of Breonna Taylor, but you'll doubtless be hearing from Tin-Tray Tucker in a few hours that her former boyfriend Jamarcus Glover was arrested on drug charges. If his presence in the house didn't justify killing her while she slept, you must be a radical left Antifa who hates America. I'll bet you were one of the mob who surrounded Rand Paul last night as he walked home from the White House and shouted at him, causing him to soil his panties. Bad mob! Now I have less respect for the neighbor who allegedly assaulted him -- maybe he just made a scary face from the other side of the hedge.
Senator Paul must be hiding under his bed as the Get Your Knee Off Our Necks march arrived at the Lincoln Memorial today. Letetra Widman, Jacob Blake's sister, summed up this week and this miserable four years: "America, your reality is not real. We will not pretend. We will not be your docile slave. We will not be a footstool to oppression. We will not dress up this genocide in blue and call it 'police brutality.' We will only pledge allegiance to the truth...Black men, stand up. Stand up, Black men, and educate yourselves."
That's a speech. Not Trump's potted history of white America punctuated with complaints about all the words "they" won't let you say anymore and "wild-eyed Marxists like Bernie Sanders." Absent John Lewis and Malcolm X and Martin Luther King, she brought it and threw it in his oozing orange face.
A thousand Americans die of covid every day. That's 67,000 between now and November 3. At least another 60,000 before January 20. And it never had to happen.
posted by Buttermilk Sky at 5:07 PM
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