A wilderness of mirrors
Let me see if I have this right.
On March 12, the bright red state of Missouri sued televangelist Jim Bakker to stop him selling "Silver Sol Liquid" and other products as treatments for COVID-19.
On March 13, the FDA told Alex Jones to stop saying his "Superblue toothpaste" kills "the whole SARS-corona family at point-blank range."
On March 25, The Onion published an article about a fictional resident of Wyoming who bought "$2,513.67 worth of bleach, ammonia and Drano" in case Trump suggested these items could cure the pandemic. (The article went on to report that he was subsequently found unresponsive beside several empty cans of Rust-oleum.)
On April 23, Trump said, "The disinfectant, where it knocks it out in a minute, and is there a way we can get something like that by injection inside, or almost a cleaning. It gets in the lungs." Speakers of Trumpese say he was suggesting that disinfectant be injected into humans for therapeutic purposes and not to kill them in a horrible way. Seated nearby, Dr. Deborah Birx said nothing but appeared to sigh. She does not wish to be characterized in a tweet as "Dumb Debbie."
He went on to propose "ultraviolet or just very powerful light." Still nothing from Birx.
Today, April 24, several things happened.
Reckitt Benckiser, Plc, on the advice of hysterical counsel, issued a statement: "We must be clear that under no circumstance should our disinfectant products [including Lysol] be administered into the human body (through injection, ingestion or any other route)." Got that, Bubba? No enemas!
Brian Niemietz at the New York Daily News remembered the satirical story in The Onion and wrote about it.
Freshly hired White House press secretary Kayleigh McEnany said Trump never said what he said, and added, "Leave it to the media to irresponsibly take President Trump out of context and run with negative headlines." He was being sarcastic, but it's not the first time the world has failed to appreciate his subtle sense of humor. It's lonely being a jenius.
But wait! There's more!
Remember Mark Grenon? Of course you don't. He's the archbishop of the Florida church/miracle cure purveyor Genesis II, and he wrote to Trump to promote his bleach-based COVID treatment, "Miracle Mineral Solution" (MMS). You'll be as surprised as I was to learn than they also promote birtherism and Alan Keyes. I congratulate the archbishop. P.T. Barnum could never persuade an American president to endorse his mermaid or agree that Joice Heth was George Washington's nanny, but Grenon is the new king of humbug.
The Friday edition of "Never Give a Sucker an Even Break" is about to begin. What wonders await a weary nation?
On March 12, the bright red state of Missouri sued televangelist Jim Bakker to stop him selling "Silver Sol Liquid" and other products as treatments for COVID-19.
On March 13, the FDA told Alex Jones to stop saying his "Superblue toothpaste" kills "the whole SARS-corona family at point-blank range."
On March 25, The Onion published an article about a fictional resident of Wyoming who bought "$2,513.67 worth of bleach, ammonia and Drano" in case Trump suggested these items could cure the pandemic. (The article went on to report that he was subsequently found unresponsive beside several empty cans of Rust-oleum.)
On April 23, Trump said, "The disinfectant, where it knocks it out in a minute, and is there a way we can get something like that by injection inside, or almost a cleaning. It gets in the lungs." Speakers of Trumpese say he was suggesting that disinfectant be injected into humans for therapeutic purposes and not to kill them in a horrible way. Seated nearby, Dr. Deborah Birx said nothing but appeared to sigh. She does not wish to be characterized in a tweet as "Dumb Debbie."
He went on to propose "ultraviolet or just very powerful light." Still nothing from Birx.
Today, April 24, several things happened.
Reckitt Benckiser, Plc, on the advice of hysterical counsel, issued a statement: "We must be clear that under no circumstance should our disinfectant products [including Lysol] be administered into the human body (through injection, ingestion or any other route)." Got that, Bubba? No enemas!
Brian Niemietz at the New York Daily News remembered the satirical story in The Onion and wrote about it.
Freshly hired White House press secretary Kayleigh McEnany said Trump never said what he said, and added, "Leave it to the media to irresponsibly take President Trump out of context and run with negative headlines." He was being sarcastic, but it's not the first time the world has failed to appreciate his subtle sense of humor. It's lonely being a jenius.
But wait! There's more!
Remember Mark Grenon? Of course you don't. He's the archbishop of the Florida church/miracle cure purveyor Genesis II, and he wrote to Trump to promote his bleach-based COVID treatment, "Miracle Mineral Solution" (MMS). You'll be as surprised as I was to learn than they also promote birtherism and Alan Keyes. I congratulate the archbishop. P.T. Barnum could never persuade an American president to endorse his mermaid or agree that Joice Heth was George Washington's nanny, but Grenon is the new king of humbug.
The Friday edition of "Never Give a Sucker an Even Break" is about to begin. What wonders await a weary nation?
posted by Buttermilk Sky at 2:16 PM
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