Sunday, October 27, 2019

And now, a bit of fun

Things that made me laugh inappropriately:

A pallbearer at Elijah Cummings's funeral looked right at Worm-face McConnell's worm face and refused to shake his hand.  I never saw a smile freeze over like that before.

Trump the Trivial spent much time explaining that he couldn't throw out the ceremonial first pitch at Game Five tonight because the Secret Service would make him wear body armor (what, no helmet?) and it would make him look "too heavy."  Other reasons he didn't cite:  the crowd would boo so loud, the dugout roofs might collapse; the Nationals didn't ask him, choosing to honor Chef Jose Andres instead; he probably couldn't climb onto the mound without wheezing.

Part-time White House spokesmodel Stephanie Grisham told reporters that John Kelly had to go because "he was totally unequipped to handle the genius of our great president."  There are so many ways to interpret that, you almost need another beer.

Late on October 16, cybersecurity expert Rudolph Giuliani called an NBC News reporter, apparently by accident.  The reporter has a voicemail recording of America's Mare talking about someone named Robert and saying, "We need a few hundred thousand."  (Robert is believed to be one of his operatives in Turkey.)  And that's why they call it Stupid Watergate.

Harvey Weinstein showed up at the fifth annual Women In Entertainment summit in Hollywood.  Three women who objected told him to leave and were themselves ejected.  It's not so funny but it will probably be cited as an example of toxic narcissism in the next DSM.

James Mattis must have found his testicles in an old suit because he killed at the Al Smith Dinner, mocking Trump's junk food addiction and bone-spurs cowardice.  Unless he's also planning to chat with Adam Schiff and his friends under oath, it doesn't mean much.

Tulsi Gabbard is not running for Congress again (she says) but will devote all her time to dethroning Hillary Clinton and making sure Marianne Williamson is not the flakiest candidate in the Democratic presidential field.  She believes she can win, and that there is already a city in Oklahoma named for her.  Awaiting Susan Sarandon's endorsement.

And the toxic Trump name is being taken off as many sites as possible.  There is also talk of selling Washington, D.C.'s Trump Trivago, home of the hundred-dollar martini.  So much winning!

Felicity Huffman got time off for good behavior, having spent nearly a week in the toughest minimum-security facility for women that California has (no pool or health club).  She fought the law and the law won.  Is a sentence like this worth all the paperwork?  






0 Comments:

Post a Comment

<< Home