Post (hoc) time

We can't even have a horse race without politics.  The jockeys weren't the only ones covered in mud yesterday.  Governor Matt Bevin was drowned out by booing as he presented the trophy, and Trump was beside himself that the winner/favorite was disqualified for bumping another horse.  We know Bevin is the asshole who immunizes his children by sending them to "pox parties" to get infected -- I can only imagine what he does about polio.  It's probably not surprising that the Stable Genius is also an expert on racing.  Excited by the sloppy track and enhanced possibility of injury and/or death, Trump couldn't help bitching about the stewards' decision to award first place to Country House.  "Only in these days of political correctness could such an overturn occur," he twatted, unaware that horses are penalized every day for violating the rules because, like most people, he pays attention to one race a year, the one with the hats.  Yes, they took away the win because Maximum Security was overheard using the "n" word about a black stable pony earlier in the day.  Unfair!  Must investigate!  Ironists were quick to observe that the second-place finisher sometimes is declared the winner -- it happened in 2016, to the regret of all civilized people -- and that it's pretty funny for a notorious golf cheat to complain about equine misconduct.

Can he multitask?  You know it, and I don't just mean shit and tweet at the same time.  Mighty mind thrumming like a power plant burning beautiful, clean coal, he also swung away at the prospect of "Bob" Mueller testifying before the House Judiciary Committee.  Not afraid of what he might say, no, not at all, but didn't Barr's almost-four-page summary exonerate him completely and propose an addition to Mount Rushmore, or at least Stone Mountain?  My understanding is that 1. The Committee can question anyone who isn't too cowardly to show up, and 2. When he turned in his term paper, Mueller again became a private citizen who doesn't need permission.  A private citizen who is mightily pissed at Barr lying about the contents of the report, which has yet to be seen by Congress in its uncensored form.  So save the date and bring sandwiches.

Remember when Andrew Napolitano was a favorite of Trump, a regular Daniel come to judgment?  Yeah, that's over.  The judge says he has committed impeachable offenses -- says it on Fox News, if you please, like some Deep State coup plotter -- and he's off the list of federal bench appointees for sure.  "The man has been significantly wrong on at least 8 major occasions.  Unacceptable.  Take him off the air!"  ("Significantly"?  Is Barron helping Daddy with his homework?)  When/if Trump realizes he has the same name as Janet Napolitano, Obama's secretary of Homeland Security, watch the paranoia surge up to eleven.  Conspiracy!  Treason!  Crooked Hillary something something!!!

Speaking of being significantly wrong, anybody see that North Korean missile test the other day?  Not to worry, Trump has it all under control (he prevented World War III, remember?); this is just a thing they do when Japan gets a new emperor.  Like fireworks, only fissionable.  Banzai!  Then Trump had a long talk with the boss, and Putin assured him that that shipload of Russian troops who landed in Venezuela this week don't really exist.

Nothing is as it seems, and I couldn't be happier if I had bet on Country House.