California burning

In the real world, 21 people have died as a result of the fires in California, and over a hundred more are missing.  The Napa Valley is largely devastated.  In many places, the air is not fit to breathe.

In the Caribbean, Americans are dying and assistance will be slowed because the Jones Act waiver has expired.

In Europe, Spain is on the verge of partition following last week's Catalan referendum.  If the Catalans gain independence, the Basque will almost certainly resume their considerably more forceful demands for self-rule. 

And here's what is roiling the television screens:

Harvey Weinstein is a sexual predator!  Who the hell is Harvey Weinstein, you ask?  He's a movie producer.  A movie producer has been taking advantage of attractive young women who want to be in the movies.  Has this ever happened before?  I'm shocked, shocked, etc.  But he gives lots of money to the Democratic Party, so it's (say it with me) ALL HILLARY'S FAULT.  Also Cyrus Vance, Jr., the Manhattan DA who was supposed to indict him but didn't.  Why Manhattan?  I don't know, I keep zoning out when I hear the name Weinstein. 

We have a timeline on Morongate.  Last July, during one of his ragegasms about North Korea, Trump demanded a "tenfold increase" in nuclear weapons.  At that time, Rex Tillerson pronounced him a "fucking moron."  When this was revealed by NBC News, Trump denounced it as "fake news," a term he claims to have invented.  He demanded that Congress investigate NBC for quoting the Secretary of State.  When that went nowhere, he blustered about having the FCC revoke the network's license.  (The FCC licenses individual channels, not networks, and cannot revoke a license because of content.)  Yesterday he ranted to a reporter, "It is frankly disgusting the press is able to write whatever it wants to write."  Or, as William M. Tweed more succinctly put it, "Stop them damn pictures!"  And he demands equal time (or "Equal Time") to respond to those mean late-night hosts who make mean jokes about him.   

It gets better.  Trump thinks he and Tillerson should take an IQ test to show just who the moron is.  This will not happen.  He is too busy feuding with the NFL, Jemele Hill and "Liddle Bob Corker," the Senator who chairs the Foreign Relations Committee and is not amused by the moron's attempts to abrogate the Iran nuclear treaty.  "It's a shame the White House has become an adult day care center," Corker tweeted.  Not long ago he was an enthusiastic Trumpanzee, but better late than never, I suppose.  He is not running for re-election.

Tweetle-dumb had time to promote a new book about how pretty he is, but not to write his name bigly on a federal disaster declaration for California (see above).  His Interior Secretary, Ryan Zinke, is a little slow to pick up his cues, and thinks we're still arguing about statues of seditious generals.  He warns that if this isn't stopped, "Native Indians" will want to demolish monuments to Grant and Sherman.  I don't speak for the first Americans, but I'm pretty sure this is not high on their list of grievances.  More like Zinke's extra-credit ego massage of the Great Orange Father between Cabinet meetings.  Catch up, Ryan, we're on flag worship this week.

"There has been no oppression in the last hundred years that I know of," says Mike Ditka, checking in on the Great Knee Outrage.  Somebody needs an IQ test.

Elon Musk wants to solve Puerto Rico's power problem with solar panels.  At the rate FEMA is moving, he could accomplish this before the water is back on.

Melania!  Ivana!  No pulling on the hair extensions, ladies.

Hang on, California.  Your president will be along shortly to toss you packages of marshmallows.