Boggled

You don't interview Donald Trump.  You just turn on the recorder and get out of his way.

In the course of a stream-of-consciousness performance transcribed by The New York Times (the irony, it stings!) he accused Barack Obama of "losing Crimea," repeated the official version of his secret chats with Putin in Hamburg (adopting Russian babies), threatened Robert Mueller if he insists on doing his job, threatened Jeff Sessions for not doing his job (protecting Trump from the consequences of his crimes), hinted that Rod Rosenstein is unreliable because he comes from Baltimore (I give up), and claimed he had been praised to orgasm by the media for the greatest speech ever given by any president ever on foreign soil (so much for Kennedy, Reagan and Obama in Berlin alone).  At this point I imagine the three Times reporters looked like the first-night audience at "Springtime for Hitler."  And then he moved in for the kill with this analysis of European history/summary of War and Peace:

"Well, Napoleon finished a little bit bad...and his one problem is he didn't go to Russia that night because he had extracurricular activities, and they froze to death.  How many times has Russia been saved by the weather?  Also Hitler ran into some difficulties with the weather."

Did I say War and Peace?  I meant Carry On, Josephine.  The one where Kenneth Williams played Prince Andrei.  Excuse me, I have to re-calibrate my brain.