Friday and ... oh, never mind
I don't know why I bother. My good friends at Mock Paper Scissors won the weekly prize when they described Devin Nunes as "Renfield to Trump's Dracula." I should leave it alone and go read a book.
The stuff writes itself. Crazy Mike Flynn's remark from way back in 2016 -- "When you are given immunity, that means that you've probably committed a crime" -- has come back to haunt him as he offers to testify to the Senate Intelligence Committee in return for, say it with me, immunity. The second most popular hoisting petard of the week came from his former boss, over and over last year: "Anyone being investigated by the FBI is not qualified to be President of the United States." If you say so, Donnie. Perhaps you should spend all your time making with the golf sticks and let the kids run the executive branch.
That might not sit well with your disciple Alex Jones, who regularly warns about the "Jewish mafia," which is headed by, you know this one, George Soros and is "out to get Jews." I'm a little confused here -- is Jared Kushner part of the mafia or one of the Jews it is out to get? Or not? I suspect the inside of Jones's head resembles the outside of Steve Bannon's, but with more flies. And how does Bannon feel about taking orders from Kushner? This has "pie fight" written all over it. As for Kushner's brothers-in-law Greasy and Sleazy, I don't expect them to be around very much. The Tasmanian Tiger, thought extinct since 1936, has been sighted in northern Queensland, Australia, and you know the boys will want to kill them a couple of those.
Meanwhile, although I'm sure a sparse crowd witnessed the swearing-in of somebody else, Hillary Clinton continues to be the root of all evil, the answer to every impertinent question, and very possibly the Napoleon of crime. Instead of being unhealthily obsessed with Trump's Russian connections, Sean Spicer says the media should be investigating her policy toward Russia. Let's see, we're both private citizens, sixty-something, maybe they should ask about my policy toward Russia. I'm here most afternoons. Fire away. Equally cornered, Trump reiterates his campaign lie about how she "sold uranium to Russia." (At least ten government departments and agencies signed off on a one-time sale of uranium, the State Department was one of them, so....) James Comey (R-FBI) has yet to apologize for sticking his big fat thumb on the election scales, which is partly why we're in this mess. And what really went on in the basement of that pizzeria that doesn't have a basement? Benghazi, people, Benghazi!
This is serious. Yesterday the Senate passed a bill allowing states to block federal grants to family planning centers, but it was how they passed it that reeked. Mike "Lab Rat" Pence rushed in to break a tie after two Republican senators voted with the Democrats. Say what you will about Trump, and I will, he's not a theocrat. As we saw hilariously last summer, the Bible is one of the many, many books Trump has never opened. He was going through the motions like every other politician to the right of Bernie Sanders. Pence is on a mission from god. Is what Trump brags of doing to women any worse than what Pence dreams of doing? Women die from lack of cancer screening, and from septic abortions. Women and their fetuses die from lack of pre-natal care. Women don't die from being groped by an insecure man-baby with advancing impotence. Women can fend off a Trump with a thumb in the eye or a hatpin to the groin. (Do they still make hatpins?) What Pence and his fellow fanatics have in mind is far nastier and harder to stop.
The stuff writes itself. Crazy Mike Flynn's remark from way back in 2016 -- "When you are given immunity, that means that you've probably committed a crime" -- has come back to haunt him as he offers to testify to the Senate Intelligence Committee in return for, say it with me, immunity. The second most popular hoisting petard of the week came from his former boss, over and over last year: "Anyone being investigated by the FBI is not qualified to be President of the United States." If you say so, Donnie. Perhaps you should spend all your time making with the golf sticks and let the kids run the executive branch.
That might not sit well with your disciple Alex Jones, who regularly warns about the "Jewish mafia," which is headed by, you know this one, George Soros and is "out to get Jews." I'm a little confused here -- is Jared Kushner part of the mafia or one of the Jews it is out to get? Or not? I suspect the inside of Jones's head resembles the outside of Steve Bannon's, but with more flies. And how does Bannon feel about taking orders from Kushner? This has "pie fight" written all over it. As for Kushner's brothers-in-law Greasy and Sleazy, I don't expect them to be around very much. The Tasmanian Tiger, thought extinct since 1936, has been sighted in northern Queensland, Australia, and you know the boys will want to kill them a couple of those.
Meanwhile, although I'm sure a sparse crowd witnessed the swearing-in of somebody else, Hillary Clinton continues to be the root of all evil, the answer to every impertinent question, and very possibly the Napoleon of crime. Instead of being unhealthily obsessed with Trump's Russian connections, Sean Spicer says the media should be investigating her policy toward Russia. Let's see, we're both private citizens, sixty-something, maybe they should ask about my policy toward Russia. I'm here most afternoons. Fire away. Equally cornered, Trump reiterates his campaign lie about how she "sold uranium to Russia." (At least ten government departments and agencies signed off on a one-time sale of uranium, the State Department was one of them, so....) James Comey (R-FBI) has yet to apologize for sticking his big fat thumb on the election scales, which is partly why we're in this mess. And what really went on in the basement of that pizzeria that doesn't have a basement? Benghazi, people, Benghazi!
This is serious. Yesterday the Senate passed a bill allowing states to block federal grants to family planning centers, but it was how they passed it that reeked. Mike "Lab Rat" Pence rushed in to break a tie after two Republican senators voted with the Democrats. Say what you will about Trump, and I will, he's not a theocrat. As we saw hilariously last summer, the Bible is one of the many, many books Trump has never opened. He was going through the motions like every other politician to the right of Bernie Sanders. Pence is on a mission from god. Is what Trump brags of doing to women any worse than what Pence dreams of doing? Women die from lack of cancer screening, and from septic abortions. Women and their fetuses die from lack of pre-natal care. Women don't die from being groped by an insecure man-baby with advancing impotence. Women can fend off a Trump with a thumb in the eye or a hatpin to the groin. (Do they still make hatpins?) What Pence and his fellow fanatics have in mind is far nastier and harder to stop.
posted by Buttermilk Sky at 1:22 PM
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