Saturday, December 10, 2016

Ship of fools

"It looks as though Trump is assembling the crew for a pirate ship."  -- John Cleese

With respect -- and I have nothing but respect for the Rt. Hon. Minister of Silly Walks -- no.   That is, no self-respecting pirate would round up a mob like this one.  Ruthless, ignorant, greedy and unscrupulous, sure, but most of them have never been at sea and some have never glimpsed it.  I am reminded of another celebrated Python sketch, the one about village idiots. 

Tom Price, Health and Human Services:  Putative surgeon who doesn't believe in vaccination and thinks Barack Obama ruled through hypnosis.

Betsy DeVos, Education:  Favors private schools, particularly religious ones.

Ben Carson, Housing and Urban Development:  Sole qualification is that he once lived in public housing. 

James Mattis, Defense:  Also happens to be a longtime General Dynamics executive.  No possible conflict of interest there.

Jefferson Davis Beauregard Sessions, "Justice":  Named for the worst traitor in American history and has always lived up to the name.  Racist's racist.  In a more civilized era, the Senate refused to confirm his appointment as a federal judge.

Scott Brown, Veterans Affairs:  Two-year senator who coined the racist nickname "Pocahontas" for his opponent, Elizabeth Warren.  Didn't work for him, but struck Trump as the quintessence of wit.    Like the First Lady-elect, enjoys posing naked.

Michael Flynn, National Security adviser.  Clinically insane.  Claims the U.S.-Mexico border is dotted with signs in Arabic advising ISIS fighters where to cross.  His equally bughouse son Michael Jr. has spread a bizarre conspiracy theory involving Hillary Clinton and a pedophile ring which continues to endanger innocent people in pizza restaurants in at least three cities.  Junior works for the "transition team."

Stephen Bannon, special adviser and professional racist.  Could be an actual pirate.  Will probably continue running from the White House.  Why not?  His boss will still be producing his television show, and probably running many other enterprises he hasn't admitted to.

I get dizzy from trying to sort through this, so I may have imagined that Captain Crook wants to put a wrestling promoter in his cabinet.  Sixteen years ago Bush hired a horse show promoter to run FEMA, just in time for Hurricane Katrina.  What a time.  Remember how Fidel Castro offered to send the Cuban navy to New Orleans to aid Americans who were dying in the flooded streets?  "Heck of a job, Brownie!" 

Watch the rats.  When they start to leave the ship, follow them quietly.  They always seem to know. 




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