Everything you know is wrong

My hands are tingling. I've never started a conspiracy theory before, and I want to do well. Sing, O Muses Garrison and Lane...

We learned today of the suicide -- or "suicide" -- of Dr. Bruce Ivins, who was about to be indicted for mailing anthrax to a number of parties in 2001. Ivins worked for the US Army Medical Research Institute of Infectious Diseases at Ft. Detrick, Maryland. In spite of a long history of emotional instability and megalomania (according to his brother), he must have had some wicked top security clearance to work with the deadliest forms of anthrax. According to his lawyer, Paul Kemp, he was persecuted into ingesting an overdose of painkillers, leading to his death. The neighbors speak of a nice man who volunteered with the Red Cross. His social worker uses the words "homicidal" and "sociopathic," and was seeking a restraining order against him.

Five people died, postal workers and office clerks, and seventeen others were sickened in the second terrorist incident of 2001. Significantly, the anthrax was mailed to senators like Tom Daschle and Patrick Leahy, and journalists like Tom Brokaw and Dan Rather, a group rightly or wrongly labeled as liberals. This is where it gets tricky. Who stood to benefit from this troubled man's death? Was he silenced like Oswald before he got near a courtroom? How hard is it to make an overdose look like suicide? Am I serious about any of this?

Well, am I?