Wednesday, February 06, 2019

Can't anybody here run this state?

My internet was down for a few hours today, so maybe I'm not up to speed.  Apparently Ralph Northam is still the governor of Virginia, despite a press conference of cosmic awfulness.  Northam now says he is not the man in blackface in that 34-year-old yearbook photo (I don't know if he has also denied being in the Klan getup).  He knows this because another time he did black his face to portray Michael Jackson in a dance contest, which he won with his superior moonwalking moves (his wife had to intervene to prevent a demonstration).  He'd surely remember if he had also played Mr. Bones.  This might be the worst defense of all time, or at least since the defense in the Emmett Till case questioned the identity of the victim by saying something like "That river's full of bodies -- it could be anyone."  Yeah, we kill so many people, ain't no way to be sure.  Bill Frist, Tom Coburn, Ben Carson, Ralph Northam -- I'm starting to think doctors should stay out of politics and medical schools should tighten up their entrance requirements.  Just because you aced organic chemistry, it doesn't mean you have enough sense to get out of the rain.

I read yesterday that Lieutenant Governor Justin Fairfax has been accused of sexual assault in -- 2004?  So that's him finished.  The next guy, the Virginia attorney general, has apparently volunteered the information that he once wore blackface in public (for cod's sake why?), which leaves, well, I don't know.  The internet wits are calling it "Blackface History Month."  The over-reactors are yelling at Disney and Mary Poppins because Dick Van Dyke partially blacked his face to portray a chimney sweep.  That one moved me to a full-on Edgar Kennedy face-palm (look him up, or watch the lemonade vendor scene in Duck Soup*).  And since we're on movies, why has Liam Neeson chosen this moment to commit career suicide?  Worst publicity tour of all time.

We got a needed respite, and frankly a thrill, from "The Stacey Abrams Show" last night; she's a star.  Next time, lose the guy in orangeface who warmed up the crowd.  I thought he would never shut up.

*Unless you think you can't handle a stereotypical Italian being portrayed by a Jewish actor.  I don't want to make this thing any worse than it is.


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