Cold enough for ya?
A group of homeless Chicagoans were trying to keep warm around a propane tank when it exploded. Hearing of this, a woman named Candice Payne pulled out her credit card and rented them a bunch of hotel rooms. Others were inspired to do the same, and more than eighty people slept indoors while cold-temperature records were set. Oprah could have accommodated that many in her house, but she didn't. (We would have heard, and heard.) No megachurch opened its doors. The city shelters are full. The federal government -- wait, do we have any?
Down in East Moline, a 69-year-old man named William Murphy was not so fortunate. His frozen body was discovered at the FedEx facility where he worked. The cause of death has not been announced, nor the reason a man of sixty-nine was still working.
The governor of Kentucky, one of those states that closes when it gets two inches of snow, says we're all a bunch of sissies for taking emergency measures to keep children from dying on the way to school. It probably will surprise no one that Kentucky is the home of Mitch McConnell, Rand Paul, Kim Davis and Covington Catholic School. Also that dopey bible museum where the dinosaurs have saddles.
Some of Governor Bevis Bevin's constituents are going to be disappointed, because Customs and Border Protection stopped an assload of drugs from crossing the border -- 254 pounds of Fentanyl and 395 pounds of methamphetamine hidden in a truck full of cucumbers. It was being driven through the Nogales, Arizona, checkpoint when trained dogs alerted the CBP. In other words, a wall in the desert would not have been much use. Or as Charlie Pierce wrote, "Screw the wall. Hire more dogs."
Yes, the wall. Trump and his babysitters have been busy, dumping sanctions here, backing out of the 1987 Intermediate Range missile treaty there, all but raising the Russian flag over the White House. Every intelligence officer told Congress this is a bad idea, as bad as trusting the North Koreans and abusing the Iranians, but what do they know? Russia definitely did not interfere in the 2016 election and they've promised that they're not doing it again, so that's that. Besides, WALL. Must have WALL or nothing else matters. Trump called in a couple of "reporters" from the Failing New York Times to impress them with his resolve. He has "set the table very nicely," whatever that means, and he may possibly announce NATIONAL EMERGENCY, which will cause $5.7 billion to appear on his empty desk because after two years -- after seventy-two years -- he still has no fucking idea how government works. Also how dare the FBI treat Roger Stone as if he did something wrong, and do you have any idea how much money he's losing by presidenting all the time instead of running casinos, airlines and Trump University? WALL!
As S.J. Perelman would say, baby, it's cold inside.
Down in East Moline, a 69-year-old man named William Murphy was not so fortunate. His frozen body was discovered at the FedEx facility where he worked. The cause of death has not been announced, nor the reason a man of sixty-nine was still working.
The governor of Kentucky, one of those states that closes when it gets two inches of snow, says we're all a bunch of sissies for taking emergency measures to keep children from dying on the way to school. It probably will surprise no one that Kentucky is the home of Mitch McConnell, Rand Paul, Kim Davis and Covington Catholic School. Also that dopey bible museum where the dinosaurs have saddles.
Some of Governor
Yes, the wall. Trump and his babysitters have been busy, dumping sanctions here, backing out of the 1987 Intermediate Range missile treaty there, all but raising the Russian flag over the White House. Every intelligence officer told Congress this is a bad idea, as bad as trusting the North Koreans and abusing the Iranians, but what do they know? Russia definitely did not interfere in the 2016 election and they've promised that they're not doing it again, so that's that. Besides, WALL. Must have WALL or nothing else matters. Trump called in a couple of "reporters" from the Failing New York Times to impress them with his resolve. He has "set the table very nicely," whatever that means, and he may possibly announce NATIONAL EMERGENCY, which will cause $5.7 billion to appear on his empty desk because after two years -- after seventy-two years -- he still has no fucking idea how government works. Also how dare the FBI treat Roger Stone as if he did something wrong, and do you have any idea how much money he's losing by presidenting all the time instead of running casinos, airlines and Trump University? WALL!
As S.J. Perelman would say, baby, it's cold inside.
posted by Buttermilk Sky at 3:10 PM
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