Freaky Friday

Warning:  I have decided to find everything funny today.

Not because it is necessarily, but because it has been a lousy week and I need to laugh.  

Our top story, of course, comes from Arizona, where the Cyber Ninjas finally turned in their term paper to Mrs. Fann, who teaches Undermining Democracy 101 at the state senate.  I don't think they should expect a passing grade:  "A month-long hand count of the 2.1 million ballots cast in Maricopa County....found that Biden actually won 360 more votes than Trump than was reported in the November election."  Like Giuliani and others who disappoint Dear Leader, the Ninjas should expect their bill to go unpaid.  Now let's see if Wisconsin and Pennsylvania still want to hire them.  

"Rudy is really hurt" according to Politico, by his banning from Fox News.  He thinks they owe him because back in 1996 he pressured Time Warner to add them to its cable system as a favor to Rupert Murdoch.  Now the channel has also told former felon Bernie Kerik and various Trump flunkies they're not welcome.  The ban comes "from the top" and extends to Andrew Giuliani.  My take:  Murdoch is dying and wants to be remembered as a serious journalist.  Ain't gonna happen.

Wipeout!  Americans are panic-buying again, as port congestion makes supplies of household products insecure.  Costco has begun rationing toilet paper, cleaning products and bottled water, among others.  All the ports are backed up with container ships but especially Long Beach/Los Angeles, resulting from a shortage of trucks and drivers and soaring demand for imports.  Can't Americans even make water?  Perhaps I phrased that badly.

Mary Trump has identified her cousin Donnie Junior as "the stupidest" member of the family, astonishing those who were sure it was Eric.  Also, Uncle Donnie Senior is suing her for a hundred million dollars for providing his tax returns to the New York Times and "damaging his reputation."  Another day, another judge reduced to helpless laughter.

The news media are beginning to wonder if "missing white woman syndrome" contributed to their saturation coverage of Gabby Petito, even as they pound the story as relentlessly as ever.  Today we were informed that Brian Laundrie (still missing) has been charged with illegal use of a debit card.

Last week Republicans in Congress were demanding the resignation/impeachment of Antony Blinken and Lloyd Austin over the shitstorm in Afghanistan.  It took DHS Secretary Alejandro Mayorkas three days to say anything about the horrendous treatment of Haitian refugees by Border Patrol cowboys who apparently haven't heard that slave-catcher is no longer a profession.  Apart from a few Democrats, mostly the Squad, crickets.

Last December Harrison Deal, a twenty-year-old campaign staffer for Kelly Loeffler, died in a car accident.  Nine months later the Usual Suspects have decided that Joe Biden murdered him because he was so integral to her campaign and also he was dating Brian Kemp's daughter.  Not to be outdone, Tucker Carlson has revived the lie that George Floyd died of a drug overdose despite two autopsies to the contrary.  Now, why didn't FDR ever talk about the Lindbergh baby?

  Meet the new Taliban, same as the old Taliban.  Here's Mullah Nooruddin Turabi, minister of the propagation of virtue and the prevention of vice in Afghanistan.  He's afraid that "cutting off of hands is very necessary for security," just maybe not in a football stadium this time.  I wonder how he lost that eye.

Before you mourn Afghanistan's return to barbarism, please to remember that Texas has passed another anti-woman bill restricting access to the "morning after" pill and Florida state senator Manny Diaz  (R-Ofcourse) wants a review of all mandated vaccines including polio.  Does anyone remember where we stored the iron lungs?

 Too grim.  Let's end on a happy note.  Kayleigh McEnany, the last and least of Trump's press abusers, tweeted a graphic showing a 30 percent increase in murders last year and blaming it on Joe Biden.  Bless her heart, MAGA-Ninny never did master the Gregorian calendar.