Naughty favors

With comically bad timing Palm Springs has installed a 26-foot steel and aluminum statue of Marilyn Monroe outside the Palm Springs Art Museum.  The statue is painted in lifelike colors (as the statues were in ancient Athens, don't be a snob) and portrays the actress in the famous pose from The Seven-Year Itch as her skirt is blown up by a draft from the subway grating.  Needless to say, opinion is divided.  Louis Grachos, the museum director, thinks it will be "offensive" for kids leaving the museum to see Miss Monroe's "undergarments and underwear," because he clearly doesn't know anything about kids (or women's clothing).  Elizabeth Armstrong, speaking on behalf of the online petition against the statue, says, "It's blatantly sexist.  It forces people almost to upskirt."  No, a statue can't force you to do anything.  The statue of Nathan Bedford Forrest in Memphis, hideous as it is, never forced anyone to murder prisoners of war.  These ladies probably would have dressed like this and posed like this if they were visiting an old Spanish mission.

People have enjoyed making and looking at sexy images for a long time.  Take the Cerne Abbas Giant, carved into a hillside in Dorset between 700 and 1110 CE according to the newest study.  He's taller than Palm Springs Marilyn (180 feet), buck naked and proudly erect.  He's in better shape than nearby Cerne Abbey, which went out of business in 1539 (thank you, Henry VIII).  Palm Springs, take note:  the Giant is very good for tourism.

Sex is on people's minds in Florida, too, people like former Seminole County tax collector Joel Greenberg, who just pleaded guilty to six federal charges like sex trafficking of a minor.  Greenberg, who was facing 33 counts, also agreed to "cooperate" with the investigation of his friend Matt Gaetz.  I expect this is the reason a small plane buzzed the courthouse towing a sign that said "TICK TOCK MATT GAETZ."  Gaetz was elsewhere, of course, doing the important work the good people of Florida elected him to do:  making speeches to Trumpanzee mobs in urban centers like Strongsville, Ohio, and coyly suggesting that the "naughty favors" he (allegedly) bought are practically the same as a real Congressman adding earmarks to a bill.  Phrases like "cocaine-fueled party" are also beginning to circulate, so this may not be the right time to proclaim that he wants to be Robin to Gym Jordan's Batman; the ex-wrestling coach doesn't need that image in people's minds as he awaits the investigation into his own scandal.

When Rick Santorum was telling young Repubs that this continent was a void before the white man arrived from Europe with culture and smallpox, we wondered what it would take to get a racist fired from CNN.  The answer came today with the dismissal of stringer Adeel Raja.  The Islamabad-based freelancer tweeted, "The world today needs a Hitler."  He was angry about the loss of life in Gaza but this goes back years.  In 2014 he wrote, "The only reason I am supporting Germany in the [World Cup] finals -- Hitler was a German and he did good with those Jews."  Only seven years later CNN shut him down.  It's looking good for Santorum.  Raja retorted, "Glad a single tweet contributed to the Palestine cause and brought it to limelight with me loosing [sic] my job and the West's claim of Freedom of expression and human rights!"  Yes, Adeel, you've been cancelled.  Your invitation to the bigots' pity party is in the mail.

Well, that was grim.  How about some silly?  Rightzis love Chick-Fil-A for its avowed anti-LGBTQ stance and fill their faces with its food, but something has gone terribly, terribly wrong:  there's a shortage of dipping sauce and it's all the fault of Joe Biden!  Kevin Stitt, recently kicked off the Tulsa Race Massacre Centennial Commission for refusing to let schoolchildren study any race massacres, is fund-raising off this crisis, while Ted Cruz and Lauren Boebert are predicting America's imminent demise.  What's next?  Shortages of toilet paper, hand sanitizer, PPE, ventilators...no, wait, that was last year.  Never mind.  Is that dog still biting people?