Of the people, by the people...

 "Suppose you were an idiot.  And suppose you were a member of Congress.  But I repeat myself."  (Mark Twain)

There are two kinds of Senators:  Lifers who eventually have to be wheeled onto the floor and the nakedly ambitious who believe it's a speed bump on the road to the White House.  For this bunch, largely bored by the legislative process, nothing is more important than distinguishing themselves from all the other attention junkies.  Anything will do if it brings re-tweets or mentions on The News, or the biggest prize of all, half an hour on the Sunday shows.  For example:

As police executions of Black people broke records and Republicans passed shiny new Jim Crow voting laws, Lindsey Graham assured Chris Wallace that there is no systemic racism in the United States because we elected Barack Obama and Kamala Harris.  (Also:  Jackie Robinson played major league baseball.)  "America is a work in progress but best place on the planet," the white Southerner continued.  He's offended that Joe Biden keeps "running it down" by calling for police reform.  

Ron Johnson of Wisconsin is probably not running for president unless he saw William Powell in The Senator Was Indiscreet and assumed it was a biopic.  This gives him more time to defend his title as Dumbest Senator in the Galaxy.   Johnson is pretty sure the pandemic is over and fails to see why it should continue to inconvenience his constituents by making them wear masks and get their second vaccination.  "The science [oh, no, a known idiot is going to talk science] tells us the vaccines are 95 percent effective, so if you have a vaccine quite honestly what do you care if your neighbor has one or not?" he rhetorically asked some local radio host.  Even more insulting is the requirement to carry a vaccination card in your pocket where it might take space you need for your NRA membership.  He might want to take a look at spiking cases in neighboring Michigan.  Or better yet, just shut up.

By an impressive 94-1 vote this bitterly divided Senate passed the Covid-19 Hate Crimes Act to combat assaults on Asian Americans and Pacific Islanders.  Five members didn't bother to vote, but only one went on the record in favor of hate crimes, Josh "Fist Pump" Hawley, who called it "too broad."  In other news, an arrest has been made in the attack on Yao Pan Ma, 61, in New York City, who remains in a coma.  (Anti-Semitic incidents are also increasing, frequently moving online during the pandemic; I wonder if Hawley has a position on those.)

If Johnson is covid's biggest fan in the Senate (it's debatable), Joe Manchin is the loudest spokesman for global warming.  He's upset that large banks want to zero out their carbon emissions instead of burning beautiful, clean coal from West Virginia.  By playing a Democrat on TV Manchin can be sure to attract more attention than he and his sad little state deserve, which is yet another reason the District of Columbia needs to be the State of Columbia.

The Senate's deepest thinker remains "John Kennedy" of Louisiana.  Like the real John Kennedy who served in the Senate in the 1950s, this one is celebrated for his wit.  A sample:  "If you hate cops just because they're cops...call a meth head [sometimes he says crackhead] the next time you get in trouble." 
"If you trust government you obviously failed history class.  The Native Americans gave up their guns, too."  "A lot of my colleagues in Washington, DC, say that England is such a wonderful place because they don't have guns.  And if you think it's such a swell place, well, carry your happy ass there."  "I don't know when they have time to make movies in Hollywood because it looks like they're all busy molesting each other."  Obviously this goes down well with what Willie Stark called "the rednecks," but serious people in Louisiana should consider electing Dennis Miller to the Senate if this is their idea of representation.