And this happened

 Got a gender-reveal or divorce party coming up?  (Sorry, no quinceaneras.)  Book now to get Donald or Melania Trump as your entertainment.  Allow six weeks and do not go to endlessgrift.com, as you will be re-directed.  If you choose the Former First Escort, you are responsible for the music and special costume(s).

Alexei Navalny is on a hunger strike after being sleep-deprived and denied medical care in prison.  In view of the way he was poisoned the first time, he should probably stop wearing clothes, too.

A memorial service for G. Gordon Liddy will be held Saturday in the parking lot of Four Seasons Total Landscaping. 

Archegos Capital Management, a New York-based hedge fund, has mysteriously lost $20 billion.  (Those kids on Tik-Tok again?)  Investment banks all over the world are hemorrhaging money.  So sad.

Michael Regan thinks the Environmental Protection Agency should resume protecting the environment.  To that end the new administrator has 86'd forty Trumpites from its "advisory boards."  In the words of Theodore Geisel, "Quick, Henry, the Flit!"

Devoted as always to profit and having it both ways, Georgia-based Delta and Coca Cola waited until the bill was signed by Brian KKKemp to deplore the state's new Jim Crow voting law.  I'll think of them the next time I order a Pepsi on a United flight.

Vaccine "passports" are proof of covid immunization intended to facilitate travel.  Naturally, Marjorie Taylor Guam has claimed her daily five minutes by pronouncing them "Biden's Mark of the Beast" and says companies that require them are involved in "corporate communism" (not to be confused with "liberal fascism").  I hope the cookies those nice National Guard people brought her contain carfentanil.

Ooh boy, Matt Gaetz is having himself a bad week.  Charges of taking a 17-year-old across state lines for icky purposes, getting muzzled by Tucker Carlson, and now his father is being investigated over some mysterious men and a hostage in Iran.  Matt better take that job with Newsmax before it evaporates like his political career.  So sad.  If Trump were smart he'd file the paperwork to turn Mar a Lago into a church and offer asylum to all his felonious followers -- for a price, of course.

Back from re-education camp in Delaware, Major bit somebody else and either he or Champ was a very bad boy in front of the Diplomatic Reception Room.  Twenty Congressional seats the other way and we'd be looking at impeachment.

A member of the Ndrangheta crime family was arrested by Italian police after someone recognized his tattoos on his YouTube cooking show.  And now I love YouTube even more.