WTF Tuesday
The subtext of most blogs is "You should read this. I know things you don't." Of course it's rubbish, but without it we'd just watch old movies and nap all afternoon. You're here, after all.
Some days I have more questions than answers, and one of the most common is, "Who asked you?" For example, two prominent Britons have announced that pandemics result from eating meat. One is Brian May, guitarist and non-practicing astrophysicist, and the other is Paul McCartney. Both are unable to perform because of Covid, so they sit home and theorize. I wonder what Ozzy Osbourne thinks. He is the one who used to bite bats, isn't he?
The Wendy's chain has removed beef from the menu in 20% of its restaurants, not in response to May and McCartney but because of shortages from the meat industry. My question: What else does Wendy's serve? I could bring up a menu, but I'm not that motivated.
The New York Times advises of a source of protein that's been in the news: murder hornets. In some parts of Japan, they are considered a delicacy. Torao Suzuki, who has been stung often, leads hunts for their nests. "Even when I tell people, they're going to sting you, they still eat them. They say it makes them potent," he says. What's the deal with Asians and virility? Hornets, snake blood, rhino horn -- could somebody tell them about Viagra?
America being America, it was a matter of time before the pandemic turned into a shooting war. Angela Summers, a postal worker in Indianapolis, was shot and killed allegedly because Tony Cushingberry-Mays was tired of waiting for his Trump bucks. Summers was tired of being endangered by his dog, and had several warning letters sent, which he ignored. Over in Michigan, where they really love freedom, Calvin Munerlyn, a store security guard, was shot and killed because he told a woman she would have to wear a mask. It looks like her whole family has been charged. Plenty of police and retail employees have been spat on, too, which could be just as lethal. As you can see, Covid is only one disease afflicting Americans.
In a faint and distorted echo of Henry Higgins, Trump wants to know why a woman can't be more like the character Donna Reed played in a 1950s sitcom. Specifically, CBS reporters Weijia Jiang and Paula Reid, who should be home vacuuming in high heels instead of bothering him with "angry" questions. "They're not even tough questions, but you see the attitude of these people, it's like incredible." Maybe they don't like his cool estimate that three thousand Americans will die every day until summer, but it's time to break up the "task force" and get back to work. Maybe they were irritated when he addressed Dr. Birx as "Deborah." Maybe they remember him calling Nicolle Wallace "a 3rd rate lapdog" who was "Thrown off The View like a dog, Zero T.V. Personas," whatever that means. (Wallace's crime was to comment on Tara Reade's sliming of Joe Biden.) Maybe they have blood coming out of their wherever. My theory: he's stuck with a wife who is fifty years old, well past the Trump use-by date, and his mood is grimmer than ever.
Trump might want to lighten up on the canine insults. The University of Pennsylvania is training dogs to sniff out coronavirus, and given the time it takes to develop a vaccine and the speed with which it mutates, not to mention the lack of any federal coordination that's worth a gnat's nuts, dogs may be our best hope.
The House of Representatives has questions for Dr. Anthony Fauci, but they may not get to ask them because "The House is a bunch of Trump haters. They put every Trump hater on the committee." That seems unlikely -- a committee that size would never get anything done. The Senate is fine. They can ask anything they want, as long as it's about how China invented coronavirus to help Biden steal the election and how unfair the media is and whether Trump is doing a better job than Lincoln would have, of course he is.
In the Guardian, Francine Prose asks, "Will Americans ever forgive Trump for his heartless lack of compassion?" Ms. Prose, that's what the Trumpanzees love about him.
Now that he has his very own Bay of Pigs disaster in Venezuela, will Americans love Donzo as much as they still love JFK? What a loser that guy was. Donzo likes presidents who don't get shot, OK?
Check out the Op-Ed by these MAWBADs. Then enjoy their "Mourning In America" ad, which made Trump choke on his morning burger after Barron explained the play on words.
Do you want more bad news? Ruth Bader Ginsburg is in the hospital (gallstones) and Kim Jong-un is all right. Some centuries you can't catch a break.
Some days I have more questions than answers, and one of the most common is, "Who asked you?" For example, two prominent Britons have announced that pandemics result from eating meat. One is Brian May, guitarist and non-practicing astrophysicist, and the other is Paul McCartney. Both are unable to perform because of Covid, so they sit home and theorize. I wonder what Ozzy Osbourne thinks. He is the one who used to bite bats, isn't he?
The Wendy's chain has removed beef from the menu in 20% of its restaurants, not in response to May and McCartney but because of shortages from the meat industry. My question: What else does Wendy's serve? I could bring up a menu, but I'm not that motivated.
The New York Times advises of a source of protein that's been in the news: murder hornets. In some parts of Japan, they are considered a delicacy. Torao Suzuki, who has been stung often, leads hunts for their nests. "Even when I tell people, they're going to sting you, they still eat them. They say it makes them potent," he says. What's the deal with Asians and virility? Hornets, snake blood, rhino horn -- could somebody tell them about Viagra?
America being America, it was a matter of time before the pandemic turned into a shooting war. Angela Summers, a postal worker in Indianapolis, was shot and killed allegedly because Tony Cushingberry-Mays was tired of waiting for his Trump bucks. Summers was tired of being endangered by his dog, and had several warning letters sent, which he ignored. Over in Michigan, where they really love freedom, Calvin Munerlyn, a store security guard, was shot and killed because he told a woman she would have to wear a mask. It looks like her whole family has been charged. Plenty of police and retail employees have been spat on, too, which could be just as lethal. As you can see, Covid is only one disease afflicting Americans.
In a faint and distorted echo of Henry Higgins, Trump wants to know why a woman can't be more like the character Donna Reed played in a 1950s sitcom. Specifically, CBS reporters Weijia Jiang and Paula Reid, who should be home vacuuming in high heels instead of bothering him with "angry" questions. "They're not even tough questions, but you see the attitude of these people, it's like incredible." Maybe they don't like his cool estimate that three thousand Americans will die every day until summer, but it's time to break up the "task force" and get back to work. Maybe they were irritated when he addressed Dr. Birx as "Deborah." Maybe they remember him calling Nicolle Wallace "a 3rd rate lapdog" who was "Thrown off The View like a dog, Zero T.V. Personas," whatever that means. (Wallace's crime was to comment on Tara Reade's sliming of Joe Biden.) Maybe they have blood coming out of their wherever. My theory: he's stuck with a wife who is fifty years old, well past the Trump use-by date, and his mood is grimmer than ever.
Trump might want to lighten up on the canine insults. The University of Pennsylvania is training dogs to sniff out coronavirus, and given the time it takes to develop a vaccine and the speed with which it mutates, not to mention the lack of any federal coordination that's worth a gnat's nuts, dogs may be our best hope.
The House of Representatives has questions for Dr. Anthony Fauci, but they may not get to ask them because "The House is a bunch of Trump haters. They put every Trump hater on the committee." That seems unlikely -- a committee that size would never get anything done. The Senate is fine. They can ask anything they want, as long as it's about how China invented coronavirus to help Biden steal the election and how unfair the media is and whether Trump is doing a better job than Lincoln would have, of course he is.
In the Guardian, Francine Prose asks, "Will Americans ever forgive Trump for his heartless lack of compassion?" Ms. Prose, that's what the Trumpanzees love about him.
Now that he has his very own Bay of Pigs disaster in Venezuela, will Americans love Donzo as much as they still love JFK? What a loser that guy was. Donzo likes presidents who don't get shot, OK?
Check out the Op-Ed by these MAWBADs. Then enjoy their "Mourning In America" ad, which made Trump choke on his morning burger after Barron explained the play on words.
Do you want more bad news? Ruth Bader Ginsburg is in the hospital (gallstones) and Kim Jong-un is all right. Some centuries you can't catch a break.
posted by Buttermilk Sky at 6:11 PM
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