What have we learned?
Alan Dershowitz does not like getting hand jobs from elderly Russian women, but he submits to it because Jeffrey Epstein is such a good client. (Every lawyer dreams of a hyper-rich offender who pays his bills and keeps on offending.) You go to a man's house, eat his food, drink his liquor, it's only polite to spend half an hour with his grandmother or whatever. I'm sure Kenneth Starr, another of Epstein's lawyers, feels the same way, except he prays the whole time the babushka is working on him.
Bethesda Naval Hospital is a fine institution but they don't excel at plastic surgery, which is why the First Escort's kidneys don't quite match. It's sad when a woman pushing fifty thinks she has to compete with her step-daughter, but it was her decision to have the procedure at a military hospital (and at our expense), so she has only herself to blame if Diamond and Silk are different sizes. Now that the Navy has had its chance, maybe the Army Corps of Engineers can build her a bra. It could be the highlight of the next Infrastructure Week.
Thousands of Americans who have yet to be convicted of anything are sitting in jail, for months or years, because they don't have a few hundred dollars for bail. Jeffrey Epstein, convicted felon and registered sex offender, should be allowed to await trial in his Manhattan mansion because to lock him up far from his art collection would violate the equal protection the very rich are entitled to under the Constitution. Thus argue his lawyers. Wonderful thing, the law.
If any Big Macs and booze are left after the farewell parties for Sarah Sanders, they can be served at the Alex Acosta exit-fest. Another of the "best people" is departing, not for malfeasance as Secretary of Labor (that we know of) but for getting Epstein the equivalent of points on his license all those years ago in Florida. History tells us that something even worse will be appointed to his job. Sebastian Gorka has been making himself particularly obnoxious lately, so my money is on him.
Nancy Pelosi has her hands full with the four young Congresswomen she has dubbed "the squad," with their Twitter followers and their crazy dances. She hasn't threatened to ground them and take their phones away yet, but close. Since they are women of color as well as choler, she has been accused of racism. Now she's being defended by a qualified expert. "She is not a racist, OK? For them to call her a racist is a disgrace," said an old man who waddled out on his lawn this afternoon to yell at clouds. Then he went back inside to resume a squabble with Paul Ryan, who has been sighing about how hard it was to deal with him. At that point, I gave up.
Ukraine has announced plans to turn Chernobyl into a tourist attraction, sort of Disneyland with radiation badges instead of height requirements. And really, why not? Gettysburg is a tourist attraction. So is Auschwitz.
Bethesda Naval Hospital is a fine institution but they don't excel at plastic surgery, which is why the First Escort's kidneys don't quite match. It's sad when a woman pushing fifty thinks she has to compete with her step-daughter, but it was her decision to have the procedure at a military hospital (and at our expense), so she has only herself to blame if Diamond and Silk are different sizes. Now that the Navy has had its chance, maybe the Army Corps of Engineers can build her a bra. It could be the highlight of the next Infrastructure Week.
Thousands of Americans who have yet to be convicted of anything are sitting in jail, for months or years, because they don't have a few hundred dollars for bail. Jeffrey Epstein, convicted felon and registered sex offender, should be allowed to await trial in his Manhattan mansion because to lock him up far from his art collection would violate the equal protection the very rich are entitled to under the Constitution. Thus argue his lawyers. Wonderful thing, the law.
If any Big Macs and booze are left after the farewell parties for Sarah Sanders, they can be served at the Alex Acosta exit-fest. Another of the "best people" is departing, not for malfeasance as Secretary of Labor (that we know of) but for getting Epstein the equivalent of points on his license all those years ago in Florida. History tells us that something even worse will be appointed to his job. Sebastian Gorka has been making himself particularly obnoxious lately, so my money is on him.
Nancy Pelosi has her hands full with the four young Congresswomen she has dubbed "the squad," with their Twitter followers and their crazy dances. She hasn't threatened to ground them and take their phones away yet, but close. Since they are women of color as well as choler, she has been accused of racism. Now she's being defended by a qualified expert. "She is not a racist, OK? For them to call her a racist is a disgrace," said an old man who waddled out on his lawn this afternoon to yell at clouds. Then he went back inside to resume a squabble with Paul Ryan, who has been sighing about how hard it was to deal with him. At that point, I gave up.
Ukraine has announced plans to turn Chernobyl into a tourist attraction, sort of Disneyland with radiation badges instead of height requirements. And really, why not? Gettysburg is a tourist attraction. So is Auschwitz.
posted by Buttermilk Sky at 4:18 PM
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