The way we live now

Mike "Liar Liar" Pence on Fire was flying to New Hampshire to do whatever the hell he does when he was ordered to turn around and bring his sweet ass back to Washington.  Rumors flew like, well, rumors.  Was it the Rapture?  No heaps of abandoned polyester slacks or MAGA hats, so no.  Was he urgently needed for swearing in?  (Pence always has a bible in his pocket and yes, he is also glad to see you.)  Sorry.  Why did Putin suddenly change his announced schedule?  Nothing to see here, just a fire on a Russian sub and fourteen dead sailors, domestic stuff.  Some White House spokesmodel assured the enemies of the people that it was all routine, but we know what liars they are.

Then a hashtag (hatchtag?)* suddenly surfaced on the Twitter, #RIP45, causing numerous very fine people to lose their shit.  How dare the Liberals gloat over such a tragic event?  What is wrong with these people?  Rightzi reading skills being what they are, nobody read far enough, or well enough, to grasp that the thread dealt with the sudden death of a Los Angeles Angels pitcher named Tyler Skaggs who wore Number 45.  Oh.  Never mind.

But the sightings of tanks in Washington?  Relax, it's just the traditional National Viagra Militarized Trumpananny Depends Day celebration, with extra Proud Boys.  What, you thought it was a coup?  The fireworks start right after the Tiki torch parade and book burning.



*I'm sure it's "hatchtag."  This (#) is called cross-hatching.