It's all true
A Missouri legislator introduces the concept of "consensual rape."
As officials talk up war with Iran/Venezuela/Your country here, and American troops are shuttled around the world, the Department of Defense's now-annual press briefing is conducted by Gene Simmons of KISS.
Pat Robertson thinks the Alabama anti-abortion law is bad. Not because he gives a damn about the rights of women, but because it's so viciously misogynistic it might not be upheld even by the Roberts-Gorsick-Boofer Supreme Court.
Mark Morgan, newly appointed head of the ICEstapo, says he can tell if a boy will grow up to join the MS-13 gang ("I've looked at their eyes, Tucker"). The captives he studied traveled two thousand miles to escape MS-13, but they're Salvadoran and it's their genetic destiny.
Glenn Beck and Bill O'Reilly are hustling a 14-day cruise around the eastern Mediterranean to explore "the roots of Western civilization." Islam will not be included.
Western civilization continues its assault on Africa. A New Jersey cleric named Robert Baldwin has set up a mission in Uganda to push quack medicine instead of quack religion. He has recruited 1,200 pastors (bribing many with smartphones) to dose their congregants with a bleach-based potion said to cure cancer, malaria, HIV and practically anything else. They even force it on infants: "It causes no harm, they just get diarrhea," says Baldwin, who is bankrolled by a 25-year-old Englishman called Sam Little (formerly "Psychic Sam" the Tarot card reader). Meanwhile in perpetually war-torn Congo, real doctors from Medicins sans Frontieres are attacked by people who blame them for causing the current Ebola outbreak.
Mayor Bill DeBlasio announced that he is running for president. That leaves Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez as the only Democrat who isn't, more or less. Because she has better things to do. Yesterday she cornered a rat named Daniel O'Day, CEO of Gilead Sciences, to ask why the HIV-prevention drug Truvada, developed with public money, costs $1,780 a month here and $8 a month in Australia. He could only squeak that a generic version will be available in September of next year. Meanwhile people exposed to the virus might want to consider Clorox.
As officials talk up war with Iran/Venezuela/Your country here, and American troops are shuttled around the world, the Department of Defense's now-annual press briefing is conducted by Gene Simmons of KISS.
Pat Robertson thinks the Alabama anti-abortion law is bad. Not because he gives a damn about the rights of women, but because it's so viciously misogynistic it might not be upheld even by the Roberts-Gorsick-Boofer Supreme Court.
Mark Morgan, newly appointed head of the ICEstapo, says he can tell if a boy will grow up to join the MS-13 gang ("I've looked at their eyes, Tucker"). The captives he studied traveled two thousand miles to escape MS-13, but they're Salvadoran and it's their genetic destiny.
Glenn Beck and Bill O'Reilly are hustling a 14-day cruise around the eastern Mediterranean to explore "the roots of Western civilization." Islam will not be included.
Western civilization continues its assault on Africa. A New Jersey cleric named Robert Baldwin has set up a mission in Uganda to push quack medicine instead of quack religion. He has recruited 1,200 pastors (bribing many with smartphones) to dose their congregants with a bleach-based potion said to cure cancer, malaria, HIV and practically anything else. They even force it on infants: "It causes no harm, they just get diarrhea," says Baldwin, who is bankrolled by a 25-year-old Englishman called Sam Little (formerly "Psychic Sam" the Tarot card reader). Meanwhile in perpetually war-torn Congo, real doctors from Medicins sans Frontieres are attacked by people who blame them for causing the current Ebola outbreak.
Mayor Bill DeBlasio announced that he is running for president. That leaves Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez as the only Democrat who isn't, more or less. Because she has better things to do. Yesterday she cornered a rat named Daniel O'Day, CEO of Gilead Sciences, to ask why the HIV-prevention drug Truvada, developed with public money, costs $1,780 a month here and $8 a month in Australia. He could only squeak that a generic version will be available in September of next year. Meanwhile people exposed to the virus might want to consider Clorox.
posted by Buttermilk Sky at 12:22 PM
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