The sound of silence
We all know Donald Trump has a very good brain. He said so. (It was a gift from Ben Carson. Just one he had around the house, but a major upgrade for Trump.) It's why he has been able to accomplish so many things in just two hundred days, most of them spent on a golf course, more accomplishments, believe me, than anybody in history. Like that post office which is now officially named after Fred Thompson. And getting Mexico to stop saying they won't pay for the wall. More communications directors in seven months than Obama had in eight years. Tweets by the thousands, which have forced Iran and North Korea and all kinds of other countries to do his bidding. Almost repealing FailingObamacare. Hiring a ton of generals, including Mike Flynn who is totally the victim of a witch hunt and will be back on the job as soon as Mueller is fired finished. Many many great speeches to the base which the fake polls indicate is shrinking but is actually bigger than the population of India put together. The Dow Jones! How about the Dow Jones? Did I mention the post office? Fred Thompson was an amazing one-term senator from Tennessee and deserves a post office until Jared figures out how to abolish the postal service which nobody uses anyway.
Also, he gave the farmers their land back.
And Trump is the world's greatest expert on terrorism, which is why so many people are asking why all the tweets about Richard Blumenthal and Mitch McConnell and that sneak Mike Pence and "fire and fury" but no mention of the bombing at Dar al-Farooq Islamic Center last Saturday in Bloomington, Minnesota, which actually is in America. But Trump knows how to delegate, like all great business tycoon geniuses, and he handed this one off to Sebastian Gorka, who has one of those undifferentiated White House jobs and is almost certainly not a member of a Hungarian quasi-Nazi party (any more). And he said:
"We've had a series of...alleged hate crimes by right-wing individuals in the last six months that turned out to be propagated by the left...Let's allow the local authorities to provide their assessment."
Unfortunately, the interviewer didn't ask him to elaborate on these left-wing crimes that were blamed on the innocent. I know he didn't mean the Scalise shooting, because that guy was instantly identified as a former Bernie Sanders volunteer. After a day I got the impression he was actually related to Sanders, or possibly the head of his hit squad, Bernie's Brutes. (What, you think only Hillary has people murdered?) The man who drove his car onto the sidewalk in Times Square had no political or religious affiliation. Attacks on men with beards and women in burkas have increased steadily since November, but I don't recall a single case where an innocent party in a MAGA cap was blamed for a crime that turned out to be the work of a vicious liberal. And by the way, "local authorities" have called the mosque bombing an act of terror, if the governor of Minnesota (admittedly a Democrat) qualifies as a local authority.
Or maybe the imam left a spicy Somali sandwich in his desk on Friday night and it combusted spontaneously. Many people have seen this happen. Islamophobes are constantly being blamed.
Let's be fair. There are only so many hours in a day, more than twenty, but you can only play golf when it's sunny. Tweeting takes time, and there are so many things to whine about. Trump has yet to thumb-type a word about the three Marines lost in a helicopter crash over the weekend, or for that matter, the seven sailors who died on the Fitzgerald. Apparently there was no way to connect them to Hillary. But I'm sure SpongeSean Squareface is hard at work on an elaborate conspiracy theory. Until then, it's Obama's fault. That guy didn't know what he was doing.
Also, he gave the farmers their land back.
And Trump is the world's greatest expert on terrorism, which is why so many people are asking why all the tweets about Richard Blumenthal and Mitch McConnell and that sneak Mike Pence and "fire and fury" but no mention of the bombing at Dar al-Farooq Islamic Center last Saturday in Bloomington, Minnesota, which actually is in America. But Trump knows how to delegate, like all great business tycoon geniuses, and he handed this one off to Sebastian Gorka, who has one of those undifferentiated White House jobs and is almost certainly not a member of a Hungarian quasi-Nazi party (any more). And he said:
"We've had a series of...alleged hate crimes by right-wing individuals in the last six months that turned out to be propagated by the left...Let's allow the local authorities to provide their assessment."
Unfortunately, the interviewer didn't ask him to elaborate on these left-wing crimes that were blamed on the innocent. I know he didn't mean the Scalise shooting, because that guy was instantly identified as a former Bernie Sanders volunteer. After a day I got the impression he was actually related to Sanders, or possibly the head of his hit squad, Bernie's Brutes. (What, you think only Hillary has people murdered?) The man who drove his car onto the sidewalk in Times Square had no political or religious affiliation. Attacks on men with beards and women in burkas have increased steadily since November, but I don't recall a single case where an innocent party in a MAGA cap was blamed for a crime that turned out to be the work of a vicious liberal. And by the way, "local authorities" have called the mosque bombing an act of terror, if the governor of Minnesota (admittedly a Democrat) qualifies as a local authority.
Or maybe the imam left a spicy Somali sandwich in his desk on Friday night and it combusted spontaneously. Many people have seen this happen. Islamophobes are constantly being blamed.
Let's be fair. There are only so many hours in a day, more than twenty, but you can only play golf when it's sunny. Tweeting takes time, and there are so many things to whine about. Trump has yet to thumb-type a word about the three Marines lost in a helicopter crash over the weekend, or for that matter, the seven sailors who died on the Fitzgerald. Apparently there was no way to connect them to Hillary. But I'm sure SpongeSean Squareface is hard at work on an elaborate conspiracy theory. Until then, it's Obama's fault. That guy didn't know what he was doing.
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