Friday, March 21, 2008

Sundays, bloody Sundays

The men who started the United States wrote a Constitution which reserved the vote for property-owning men, who presumably would have both the education and the leisure to study the issues before deciding upon them. They threw in an amendment prohibiting Congress from making any laws respecting freedom of religion. Then they went home to their plantations and farms, satisfied that they had protected their new Republic from fanatics, fundamentalists, and the ignorant unwashed. They were so wrong. Today, the fanatics and their dull-eyed congregations are so numerous that all serious politicians must court them. Which brings me to the latest and most amusing developments of this endless presidential campaign.

This week, Barack Obama had to make a whole speech distancing himself from the views of his pastor of some two decades, Rev. Jeremiah Wright (whose analysis of American history makes a lot of sense to me, a European-American). It goes without saying that no thinking person agrees with everything his or her church teaches -- for one example, most American Catholics long ago broke with their church on the issue of contraception -- but in politics, nothing goes without saying. Obama may have succeeded in drawing a firm line between himself and Wright, but he is still encumbered with the endorsement of Minister Louis Farrakhan, whose incendiary views on Judaism and on white people generally are well known.

At around the same time, John McCain was accepting the support of Rev. John Hagee, a televangelist who hates The Catholics as much as he hates The Gays and is either too honest or too dumb to keep quiet about it. Imagine: the Opus Dei wing of the Supreme Court was just about to signal Big John, "Throw it to us, we've got your back," and this has to happen. It's too soon to use the word "panic," but I see the heilige Fuhrer Himself is coming to Washington next month to meet with his operatives. Wouldn't you love to be a fly on the wall?

The clear winner is of course Hillary Clinton. Since all three of the Near Eastern death-cults fear and despise non-subservient women, she isn't likely to pick up much support there. And considering what the support of the religion industry can mean, who needs it?

Those Freemasons and Deists back in the eighteenth century -- the Age of Reason, as it's called for a reason -- were some smart guys, huh?

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