Is that you, Lord? It's me, Dubya

I'm doin' everything I can for the Israelis, Lord, your chosen people, or they used to be until they refused to accept Your Son. They're fightin' the evil-doers who don't love freedom. Trouble is, I got a call from Condi and she says they're killin' Christians. I didn't even know there was Christians in Lebya...Libby...Liddydole...Lebanonon. That one. They got these Macaroni-ite Christians that are starting to support Hezballahola...I hate these names. Anyway, you know everything, Lord. So help me. Be my decider. How many weeks until the Rapture? If you could just give me a rough idea, so I can plan my vacation. Laura says she wants to be Raptured outta the Rose Garden, and I'd kinda like to be with her for once. Oh, I saved all the little stem cell babies. Or is it sleeper cell babies? Anyway, you can explain it to me pretty soon. Thanks for everything.