Monday, September 20, 2021

Into the storm

 What's roiling America?

The Constitution spells out only one job for the Vice President, presiding over the Senate.  Since the Senate was not in session on Saturday, Kamala Harris thought she'd drive over to her alma mater Howard University and toss the coin before its game with Hampton University.  Despite exhaustive research I am unable to say whether she stayed for the game, ate a hot dog or visited the winning team's locker room.  (I could probably find out who won but I don't care.)  Needless to say, she was criticized for taking time off from solving all the country's problems.  "She was at a football game because, you know, as the affirmative action  vice president who was selected because she was a woman and because she was the right color, she likes to go to these things," sniffed Rachel Campos-Duffy, who was definitely not hired by Fox News because they needed a Latina.  They admired the journalistic work she did on MTV's The Real World and were unaware of her racism.

VP HARRIS TOSSES COIN AT HOWARD GAME AMID CRISIS shouted the chyron.  What crisis?  A blonde woman is missing.  Gabby Petito, described as a 22-year-old "lifestyle blogger," disappeared last week near Grand Teton National Park and the nation, or at least its media, is apparently riveted.  A body matching her description has now been found, so expect the riveting to continue, or at least the sound of riveting in your head as you try to fathom why this one apparent crime has leapt to the top of the hit parade ahead of thousands of others.  Did her fiance do her in?  Who will take over her blog?  Does the FBI have nothing better to do?  

#EmmySoWhite is the Twitter label for yet another crisis, the fact that individual Emmy awards went to only two Black nominees.  Disclosure:  I tried to watch it.  I didn't recognize any of  the presenters and only John Oliver among the nominees.  I didn't get any of the jokes.  It was like watching the Bollywood Oscars in Hindi.  Clearly I need to stop reading so much and step up my TV consumption.  Gillian Anderson won for her terrifying portrayal of Margaret Thatcher in The Crown, which I did see; and a British actor called Brett Goldstein made a "fuck"-laced acceptance speech, possibly under the impression he had won a BAFTA.  I'm sure that woman who calls herself One Million Moms has already complained to the FCC.

CNN has issued a warning that Mike Pence is setting up an office in Washington so he'll be ready when God calls him to "serve" as president.  Yeah, funny thing -- when the crisis came on January 6 Pence responded to God's Anointed by singing "I Would Do Anything For Love But I Won't Do That" (ignore the state-certified ballots).  In a party of terrified "natives" prepared to appease King Con with human sacrifices, Pence has a significantly better chance of going to a wedding reception and changing water into wine.  Which he might try.

Elon Musk's ego was bruised because the President didn't take time out from dealing with Haitian refugees at the southern border, the never-ending pandemic, the gathering of world leaders at the UN and the impending Republican shutdown of the federal government to congratulate him on putting four rich amateurs in orbit.  Maybe he should think about letting his employees unionize.  I know, it's weird having a president who doesn't think "union" is an obscenity.

This is Officer Eduardo Matute of the Jersey City Police Department with the baby he caught when some lunatic dropped it from a second-floor balcony.  When police do good, we're happy to thank them.



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