Thursday, February 21, 2019

It's raining lawyers


Roger Stone was in court today all contrite, because he used his Instagram account to post a picture of Amy Berman Jackson, the federal judge hearing his case, next to a  rifle sight (a cute little dog-whistle to the Second Amendment people popularized by Sarah Palin after the shooting of Rep. Gaby Giffords).  Judge Jackson was not amused and imposed a gag order on Stone but chose not to "lock him up" as a gift to the media, who love to recount his antics.  Stone protested that he didn't post the offending image but maybe it was one of his underlings but he has no idea which one and no way to find out and it won't happen again.

Jussi Smollett was in court accused of filing a fake police report and wasting people's time.  He has to post $100,000 bond.  Similar charges are being prepared for all the complainants who call police in "while black" cases (moving into an apartment, barbecuing in the park, selling lemonade, sitting in a coffee shop, canvassing in the district you represent, cashing your paycheck, etc., etc.).  I'm joking, no, of course they aren't.

Alexander Acosta, the Secretary of Labor -- really, he is -- will soon be in court because a federal judge in Miami ruled that the plea deal he gave underage-sex-promoter Jeffrey Epstein was incredibly inadequate and illegal.  Acosta was the US Attorney in Miami at the time, and he and Epstein had a mutual friend whose name rhymes with Ronald J. Gump.  Like most shady Floridians.

Coast Guard Lt. Christopher Hasson will be spending a lot of  time in court since the FBI seized his arsenal, ammunition and interesting collection of digital musings on killing everybody in the world, possibly with biological weapons.  He later narrowed this down to the usual suspects in the "illegal impeachment" conspiracy, including Nancy Pelosi, Chuck Schumer, Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez, Ari Melber, Maxine Waters, Chris Hayes, Tim Kaine and "Sen blumen jew," among others.  (I know -- how can you hate Tim Kaine?)  The FBI calls him a "right-wing terrorist," but they are a tool of Hillary's Deep-State Pizzeria Murder Club. There is no such thing as right-wing terror, only troubled individuals and lone wolves.

Frivolous Lawsuit of the Month honors go to the family of Nicholas Sandmann, the entitled little shit whose mockery of Omaha Nation elder Nathan Phillips on the National Mall made him a star last month.  The Sandmanns are suing the Washington Post for $250 million because it reported the story and damaged Nicky's reputation as a sensitive, thoughtful person.  The suit claims NBC and CNN did, too, but they are not owned by the richest man on earth so they get a pass this time, but they'd better be careful about such "McCarthy" tactics in future.  I'm quoting.  It really says that.  When did Joe McCarthy become a villain to the right?

Speaking of the right and its QAnon quintessence, they have talked themselves into believing that Ruth Bader Ginsberg is dead.  The Deep State has had her preserved like Lenin and propped up on the bench until Trump can put the finishing touches on Stormy Front and swoop down on all the disloyals.  Der Tag kommt.  Sleep with one eye open.  I can say no more.


Blogger The New York Crank said...

You asked, "When did Joe McCarthy become a villain to the right?"

I think that happened when Russia stopped being bad and became good, while NATO stopped being good and became bad, or in other words, when Donald Trump rolled out of bed one morning and turned on the TV.

Of course, even though Russia became good, Communism is still bad, even though they have it in Russia, because Bernie Sanders and OAC advocate a form of Socialism, and Communism is also a form of Socialism, and even though Bernie and OAC are advocating Democratic Scandinavian Socialism, we can't have that because Communism is also Socialism, even though it's Russian.

Then there's Chinese Communism, which is beginning to look a lot like some weird form of Capitalism, which is good, even though China is bad, at least most of the time. Fortunately, we can offset that with Venezuela, which is in the Communism-Socialism orbit along with Cuba, which cannot be tolerated and must be overthrown because, well, you know, Communism is kind of Socialism, and now look, they've got runaway inflation and people are starving. At least in Venezuela. It hasn't happened in Cuba yet, but we can put an end to their unjustified relative prosperity by choking off their income from tourism and maybe blockading them.

And that's why anything the left says is McCarthyism and therefore villainous.

Any questions?

Yours very crankily,
The New York Crank

9:10 AM  
Blogger MarkS said...

Sleeping with one eye open should be pretty restful. There are lots of nights I've slept with BOTH eyes open since the creature infested the White House

10:24 AM  

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