Sunday, January 21, 2018

Sunday wrap-up extravaganza

(in which we try to determine who's crazy, us or the rest of the world)

The Republicans shut down the government Friday because their president is a deranged moron and their Senate majority leader couldn't lead ants to a cube of sugar.  They have done little since then but blame the Democrats, at one point calling them "complicit" in any future crimes which may be committed by those raping, murdering Mexicans who haven't been walled out.  Also it's totally their fault that The Troops are not being paid.  That was too much for Sen. Tammy Duckworth, who wrote:  "I will not be lectured about what our military needs by a five-deferred draft-dodger.  And I have a message for cadet bone-spurs:  If you cared about our military, you'd stop baiting Kim Jong-un into a war that could put 85,000 American danger."  Duckworth is a woman, disabled (she lost both legs in the Iraq War), a Democrat, Asian-American, and her name sounds like a bird.  No way Trump will be able to resist exercising his twit-wit.

Dr. Rene Boucher pleaded guilty to assaulting a member of Congress, Rand Paul, which apparently became a federal crime in the years since Preston Brooks (D-SC) half-killed Charles Sumner (R-MA) on the Senate floor.  Of course, that was over slavery; this was a lawn maintenance dispute.  And so the Bowling Green Massacre limps to a conclusion.  Any thoughts, Kellyanne?

Pope Francis, on a visit to Chile, won the world's heart when he married two flight attendants on his plane.  In Santiago, his vehicle hit a mounted policewoman and her horse, and he stopped the motorcade and stood with her until the ambulance arrived.  And then he had to mess it up and lecture a roomful of cloistered nuns on the evils of gossip, comparing it to terrorism.  So only women gossip and it's bad and destructive.  Good to know.

Trump found time in his schedule ("Fox & Friends" is not on Saturdays) to address a rally of anti-choice crazies in Pennsylvania, assuring them that "states are allowing babies to be born from his or her womb at nine months.  This needs to stop."  I couldn't agree more.

Capetown, South Africa, is rationing water.  Those Chinese and their cunning climate-change hoax have caused a three-year-long drought, the scamps.  And Australia is basically the world's biggest barbie -- throw a shrimp on yer living room floor, mate!  Some day the survivors will look back on this century and try to laugh.

The two Koreas have agreed to put aside their differences at least until the end of the Winter Olympics next month, in which they will participate as one country under a special flag.  No one thinks this is a permanent solution, but it seems to signal that they will henceforth ignore the bellicose rants out of Washington and talk to each other.  That seems wise.

The 1918 influenza pandemic killed millions around the world.   The 2018 version has been far less lethal, so far killing some forty American children (no figures are available for adults).  But it underscores the lack of new antiviral and antibiotic drugs, not to mention a comprehensive flu vaccine.  The profit is in drugs for chronic conditions like diabetes, depression, psoriasis, hypertension, and of course "erectile dysfunction," as impotence is now known.   As of today, a couple of utterly unqualified but loyal Trumpanzees are in charge of the opioid crisis and the attorney general is obsessed with stamping out cannabis.  Even if this government were open for business, how do you think it would respond to another pandemic?  I mean, beside blaming Democrats and people from shithole countries.

Sharks are evil, but Nazis are very fine people.  Remember that.  Sweet dreams.


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