Monday, July 31, 2006

News that stays news

This is what I learned from the television news.

It's hot. People should drink water when they are hot. There is a higher demand for electricity. Wear light clothing. It's very hot. Very, very hot.

If you were an asshole to begin with, your assholicity will only increase while you are being arrested for driving drunk.

In spite of intestinal diseases, mechanical failures and the occasional lost passenger, cruise ships are still safer than bike riding in New York City.

George W. Bush looks authoritative when striding about. When he stops striding and starts talking, you realize that he is the most expensively educated idiot in all of history.

It has never been so hot. The humidity will make it feel like 150 degrees. Lower at the shore. Wear a hat.

Gasoline prices are going up. This fact may be related to the war(s) in the Middle East, but no one is sure how.

Athletes who win are rewarded with money and adulation. They will do anything to win. This is wrong.

A very rich woman is possibly being neglected by her son. She is 104 years old. Someone should do something.

Once again, still hot.


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