Saturday, January 23, 2021

Goofy season

Sidney, Rudolph, Lin, I'm afraid there's a new contender for Worst Lawyer in America.  Meet Paul Davis of Texas.  Davis has some free time since he was fired by Goosehead Insurance, which apparently hates freedom.  They saw the video Davis posted of himself storming the Capitol on January 6 and said, "No."  Anyway, Davis now represents a coalition of groups like "Blacks for Trump" and "Latinos for Trump," which even in Texas had to club together to afford his retainer.  They are suing the entire Congress and some other people in US District Court in Waco on the usual grounds of "election fraud" but this time under the seldom-used theory "Gondor has no king."  Long story short -- extremely long story -- Aragorn has been exiled to Palm Beach and a steward from his cabinet must he appointed until Sauron (Joe Biden) is vanquished.  Gollum (Mitch McConnell) installed some grim specimens on the federal bench but it's hard to imagine one of them giving this more than a quick skim.  Still, it's bound to bring Davis and the renascent Orly Taitz to Aragorn's attention as he prepares for next month's trial by combat impeachment trial.  

State representative Jeff Pyle of Pennsylvania says he's sorry for a Facebook post mocking the appearance of Dr. Rachel Levine, the trans woman nominated for Assistant Secretary of Health and Human Services.  But he's not resigning, despite "tens of thousands of heated emails."  Instead he plans to "Be a bigger man."  

Kevin McCarthy knows who is responsible for the terrorist attack on the Capitol.  Apparently I am.  Everyone is.  "I also think everybody across this country has some responsibility," he told Greta Van Susteren.  This evoked many a bemused tweet, the best from George Conway:  "Is this the insurrectionist version of 'she was asking for it'?"  As Mrs. Conway has already observed, if only we all had voted for Trump this never would have happened.  I see them at the breakfast table, reading wildly contrasting newspapers -- no, wait, that's Citizen Kane...

What time is it?  It's New York Times to criticize Joe Biden for wearing a $7,000 Rolex to his inauguration.  Biden is already under fire for using a Peloton exercise bike, whose microphone and webcam pose a "cybersecurity risk."  The honeymoon is over.  For four years classified matters have been discussed openly in the dining room at Mar a Lago while Russian officials strolled in and out of the Oval Office like stewards bearing Diet Cokes, but sure, bicycles and bling.  After every trip on Air Force One I expect to read how much carbon was added to the atmosphere.  The Democrats are in, baby!  

Hey, Kamala, how much did that necklace cost?  Kamala Harris must wince whenever she hears the word "first" -- female Vice President, Asian American, African American.  None of those are achievements.  She was born that way.  People should know about what she did since birth.  

Junior Mance died today aged 92.  He played piano with Cannonball Adderley, Dinah Washington, Dizzy Gillespie, Charlie Parker and Lester Young.  Apparently some TV interviewer has also died and is taking up all the space, so I thought I would remember Mance here.

 


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