Poorly developed

Trump loves Norway.  He would happily accept immigrants from Norway instead of "shithole countries" like Haiti.   Sadly, Norway doesn't love him back.  The Norway University of Science and Technology has warned those studying abroad to return from countries with "poorly developed health services...for example, the U.S.A."

Thousands of Americans with fake ID obtain medical care in Canada every year.  I'm not breaking any news here -- Sarah Palin said her family did so regularly when she was young.  Canada has now closed its borders to all non-Canadians except diplomats, airline crews and Americans.  I wonder how long they can afford us.

It may be somewhat comforting that Americans are not the only people frantic about their asses.  In the UK toilet paper is already subject to panic-buying, hoarding and profiteering.  The government, which periodically has to clear "fatburgers" (enormous clogs of grease and trash) from sewers, some of which were built by the Victorians, is afraid the problem will get worse if people start flushing paper towel, wetwipes and other t.p. substitutes.

If the Brits have to substitute newspaper for loo roll, they have plenty of daily alternatives.  Which brings me to funnyman David Clarke, former Milwaukee sheriff and crackpot Trumpite.  Not only is
Clarke fine with using the Fake News to clean up, he's pretty sure all the dead and sick people are a mirage:  "GO INTO THE STREETS FOLKS...END GOVERNEMT [sic] CONTROL OVER OUR LIVES.  IF NOT NOW, WHEN?  THIS IS AN EXPLOITATION OF A CRISIS."  He used to be part of government, and he admits it's a crisis, but no one else has yet pointed to the culprit:  "Not ONE media outlet has asked about George Soros's involvement in this FLU panic.  He is SOMEWHERE involved in this."   Whoever had Soros in Blame Bingo, come up and get your prize.

Norwegians will not be surprised to learn that we still don't have a bill to pay for all testing and provide paid sick leave for some workers.  That's because -- you guessed it -- Louie Gohmert (R-Neptune) wants to have all the final revisions 'splained to him, slowly.  Following today's vote the bill goes to the Senate, where Mitch and the gang may get around to it later this week, after they re-authorize FISA and plan their spring cotillion.  Meanwhile Mitt Romney wants to give every American adult a thousand dollars to cushion the economic blow.  Does anyone want to bet me that the first check will be drawn to someone whose name rhymes with Ronald J. Sump?  Come on, the bookies are hurting, too.

This is not encouraging:  two people in Japan who had seemingly recovered from COVID-19 and were discharged from hospitals have now tested positive again.

Neither is this:  a woman flew home to China after three failed attempts to get tested in Massachusetts.

This is bad but predictable:  gun stores are selling out.

Stephanie Grisham is "working from home," in case you hadn't noticed.

Idris Elba is the newest coronavirus celebrity.

And finally, just for laughs:  Steve Green used some of his Hobby Lobby inheritance to open a Museum of the Bible in Washington, D.C., and several million dollars more to acquire fragments of the Dead Sea Scrolls.  Five art fraud investigators have now determined that they are "worthless forgeries, probably made from old shoe leather."  In other words, he might just as well have spent the money providing contraception for Hobby Lobby employees.  Remember to stay at least six feet away as you laugh and point.