Sunday, June 23, 2019

So this is depravity!

Politics is a discouraging enterprise in the early decades of this new century.  Maybe it always was.  The ogres look uglier up close, the heroes harder to discern.  I hope that's all it is.

Two grim power struggles are playing out on either side of the Atlantic, and it's hard to imagine they will end well.  Believe it or not, we in the land of the perpetual campaign are still almost eighteen months from the election.  Most people are not paying attention yet, while many others are burned out with exhaustion.  Does anyone really think a Hickenlooper groundswell will propel him to the top?  Is Weld still there?  Is Schultz?  Will the latest graphic description of being raped by Trump make any difference to his army of mole people?

British politics have always been more nuanced and whimsical than ours, or maybe it just seems like it from three thousand miles away.  If we had a Monster Raving Loony Party it would be the natural home of the Gohmerts and the Trumps while the Serious People got on with business.  Up till now, this clown outpost has kept the other parties relatively sane.  Then the Tories began recruiting from reality television and the tabloids, and now Boris Johnson has a better than average chance of stepping into the shoes of Disraeli and Churchill.  For those who would rather read about Harry Potter, here's a brief rundown of BoJo:

1.  He's a toff who went to the best schools and used to write a column for the Daily Telegraph, so he can never use Trump's excuse of being a fucking moron.

2.  He's currently being sued for "misconduct in public office" because, as he cheerfully admitted, he lied about the EU costing Britain three hundred fifty million pounds a week while campaigning for Leave in the 2016 referendum.  No squawking about "fake news" from Boris.

3.  He won't say if he ever used cocaine.  This has emerged as an actual campaign issue at a time when the very future of the United Kingdom is in doubt.  Michael Gove, former education minister and one of his more unpleasant rivals, acknowledged doing coke "twenty years ago."  Rory Stewart, a more distant challenger, says he smoked opium at a wedding in Iran.  But Johnson has more immediate problems.

4.  Last week a neighbor called police after becoming alarmed by the noise from the flat next door, where Boris was rowing with his girlfriend Carrie Symonds, a former communications director for the Conservative Party.  They plan to marry as soon as he's divorced from the current Mrs. Johnson, mother of his four children.  Meanwhile, he apparently fathered another kiddie with another woman.  This is classic Boris, and his fans love him for being a swine.  No rape accusations, though.  Should Boris and Carrie move into Number Ten, there will always be a police officer on the doorstep, so the Chancellor won't have to phone them from next door when the shouting threatens to drown out Bake-Off.

5.  Johnson made himself scarce during the Most Beautiful State Visit of All Time a couple weeks ago, despite Donzo's expressed admiration.  So he does have some political instincts.  But he can't realistically claim he doesn't know he's Putin's puppet when it comes to wrecking the EU and maybe NATO.   He's even called Boris, for fuck's sake.  Subtle, no?  No.  Luckily, he doesn't have to convince the country to elect him, just the Tory MPs.  Who are shit-scared of the Brexit Party.  That's what UKIP is called now -- way to attach yourself to a single issue, Nigel.  Are you familiar with our Anti-Masonic Party?  It didn't have much in the way of staying power.

Wouldn't it be great if we could sue liars?  Trump would be so busy getting deposed, he wouldn't have time for more lying.


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