Wednesday, June 26, 2019

Only Tuesday, damn it

At least one Secret Service agent should be fired for failing to get between Eric Trump and a loogie directed at the junior princeling by a Chicago waitress last night.  We pay these people to take risks,  such as being seen in public with Eric Trump.  Eric must have inherited some Stable Genius, because he saw the problem at once:  "For a party that preaches tolerance, this once again demonstrates they have very little civility," he told Breitbart because nobody else cared.  You see, Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez worked in a bar, this woman works in a bar, therefore this woman is a Democrat, QED.  So make the Aviary your destination for a Chartreuse-and-brandy whooperoo, then complain that the server spat on you and skip out on the check.  Winning!

In case you think Trump Senior has his little hands full with his concentration camps and his war/not war against Iran, he still manages to keep track of what really matters.  Like the flag etiquette of athletes.  Megan Rapinoe of the rampaging US Women's Soccer team has been known to take a knee at star-spangled time to protest police brutality, until forbidden to do so by US Soccer.  Now she says she won't go to the White House for the traditional lukewarm junk-food reception if they win.  This provoked a tweet with her name misspelled, pointing out that  "so much has been done for her and the team" (why isn't she more grateful for unequal pay?).  Two years ago Rapinoe said, "God forbid you're a gay woman or a person of color in this country, because you'd be really fucked," so a malcontent with a dirty mouth and probably a Democrat.  Like E. Jean Carroll, not pretty enough to rape, either.  Back to the kitchen.

Over on The View, which I would not watch if the only alternative was the cattle auction on The Cowboy Channel (it's real, and I get it!), Meghan-with-an-h McCain shared her expertise on the subject of torture.  Her daddy was tortured as an adult prisoner of war, so she knows the treatment of non-combatant toddlers at the Mexican border doesn't begin to qualify as torture.  Her daddy couldn't even lift her up high, but those children will grow up and have amusing stories to tell about how they got to go for weeks without their mamas telling them to brush their teeth, and how Senor Presidente Trump left the lights on all night so they wouldn't be afraid to sleep on cement floors without any blankets, haha, Que viva America!  Torture?  You are so loco.

Just going to put this up here:  "It's not like he's doing this to the people of Idaho or Texas.  These are people from another country."  And thus Brian Kilmeade locks down his Presidential Medal of Freedom with Bronze Oak-Leaf Palm.  It includes a trip on the SS St. Louis to any country that will take him.

Susan Collins pursed her lips and expressed concern that Trump's "she's not my type" defense against the most recent rape accusation (and, frankly, others) was "extremely bizarre."  Then she got ready to vote to confirm the next rapist judge appointed by McConnell Trump.  Susan is a good girl.  She is not, however, fit to clean the dottle from Margaret Chase Smith's pipe.

The Iranians have insulted Trump's intelligence just because he can't tell Ayatollah Khamenei from Ayatollah Khomeini, who died in 1989.  Like it matters.  Sanctions for them.  What else is there to sanction?  Like it matters.

The First Amendment is all very well, but free booze!  As befits someone who has survived for more than a year in the service of the Fourth Reich, Sarah Huckabee Sanders got two going-away parties this week.  One reporter told the Columbia Journalism Review on condition of anonymity, "Everybody has their issue with Sarah Sanders but if you can't have a drink with somebody, then all of civilization has broken down."  So April Ryan, who refused the invitation, is the enemy not just of the people but of civilization itself.  Back to the kitchen.  The rest of you can get used to being spat on by Stephanie Grisham.  Yes, the Stephanie Grisham, architect of First Escort Melania's BeBest campaign to be, well, best.  There are BeBest Ambassadors so I guess BeBesting is going on somewhere.  In  her spare time, Grisham will lie to reporters in the Brady Room as Sanders and Spicer once did.  And old man river, he just keeps rollin' along.


Blogger The New York Crank said...

"It's not like he's doing this to the people of Idaho or Texas. These are people from another country."

Y'mean like New York or California?

Let's face it, how can you even tell they're complaining it hurts if they can't speak English, like God intended all humans to speak — otherwise why would he have wrote the Bible in English?

Ignurintly yours,
The New York Crank

11:44 AM  

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