Friday, January 11, 2019

Last impressions

Watching Lindsey Graham morph from semi-reasonable Republican into raving trumpazoid, it's hard to avoid the suspicion that somebody somewhere has video of him going down on an entire football team.  Unless it's Clemson, the voters back home will not be in a forgiving mood.  And for what?  He's not getting a promotion; we know this because Midge McConnell told Trump to quit poaching senators for the White House jobs that open up regularly.  With the wobbly allegiance of Murkowski and Collins on issues like WALL, Midge needs all the votes he can get.

Remember the yuge crowds at the last inauguration, millions and millions of them, the biggest crowd ever?  Turns out most of them were Ukrainians with a vested interest in the new regime.  You can tell because their names are like Russian names if Trump spelled them:  Serhiy Lyovochkin, Andrii Artemenko, Vitaliy Khomutynnik, Borislav Bereza and Pavel Fuks.  Needless to say, they're pro-Russia Ukrainians, or as most Ukrainians call them, traitors.  So many Ukrainians that Robert Mueller has become interested in why they were in Washington, and how many of them were in business with Felix Sater and Paul Manafort, and how this fits in with Steve Mnuchin's eagerness to lift sanctions on Oleg Deripaska (not a Ukrainian), about which he failed to give a coherent explanation to the House yesterday.  It all goes together somehow, and I'm just glad I don't have to type those names again.  Also NO COLLUSION.

Is anybody surprised that Trump has no idea what "The buck stops here" means?  Alphabetically, he comes after Truman, and that's the only connection they will ever have.

Is anybody surprised that Trump would use his "national emergency" speech to raise money?  The MAGAts who went to the website were surprised, I'll bet, when they read:  "Donald J. Trump is a racist, a demagogue and a swindler.  He and his presidency are illegitimate, and his wall is nothing but a vanity project."  That's right, Trump or his minions had failed to secure the domain name.  Instead of donating to a Keep Out the Brown Hordes fund (actually the 2020 campaign), they were invited to send money to the Legal Aid Justice Center and Kids In Need of Defense (KIND).  Perhaps some of them did, being no more expert in technology than their hero.  Anyway, pretty funny.

There was a lot of derision about yesterday's history lesson, but I don't know.  Telling people that wheels and walls were invented in the Middle Ages is probably right in line with believing Jesus rode a dinosaur to school and Hillary Clinton runs a slave colony on Mars.  The key to any successful con is knowing how the marks think.

Sen. Tim Scott (R-SC) is unhappy about his party's racism as personified by Steve King.  We need to find the person or persons who kidnapped and drugged Scott, forcing him to join what is clearly, obviously and unquestionably no longer the Party of Lincoln.  Normally this would be a job for the FBI, but their union president Tom O'Connor says they've had it with going unpaid.  He even calls it a "national security crisis" and suggests agents may look for work elsewhere.  If other unpaid government workers were thinking of trying some bank robbery or truck hijacking, this could be a good time.  Just don't hurt anyone, OK?  Also, Miami International is closing a runway because of the TSA "flu," so don't plan on escaping that way.  More helpful survival tips will be posted here -- keep reading this blog!  (Next:  Get big $$$ for your rare type blood.)

I wonder who's enjoying this more, Steve Bannon or Vladimir Putin.

Kevin Spacey has to be tried in Nantucket?   His lawyers couldn't get a change of venue to somewhere less limerick-prone?

Lest you think all the suffering is on one side, Trump actually whined to his gunsel Hannity that his shut-down ruined his holidays.  He had to stay in the White House waiting for the Democrats (who had not yet taken over the House) to acquiesce.  Someone tell him -- NDP does not negotiate with terrorists.

This has been the longest week I can remember.  I'm finished.    




Blogger The New York Crank said...

Hey! Cool it willyuh? Don't talk about that! I'm talking about Hillary's you-know-what colony on you-know-what planet you mentioned in this post. Nobody's supposed to know about that.

Just keep it under your hat until we launch the uh, well, let's call them houseflies.

2:06 PM  

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