Tuesday, November 29, 2022

Where to start?

It's on!  God has instructed Pillow Mike Lindell to save America, this time by assuming control of the Republican National Committee.  He announced his mission on his "Frank Speech" show, or on Steve Bannon's "War Room," or by opening the window and shouting -- it's not clear.  Ronna McDaniel prevented his very legitimate evidence from achieving a 9-0 victory in the Supreme Court in 2020, and now she will pay.  With the endorsements of Trump and God, how can you lose?

He can start by sorting out the 2022 election in Arizona, and specifically Cochise County, which is refusing to certify the results because they're worried about alleged irregularities in Maricopa County.  Concerned citizens expressed their concern in the usual way, bringing death threats, curses, promises of revolution and selected Bible readings to a meeting of the Maricopa County Board of Supervisors.  They are doing their best to obey Trump and "install" Kari Lake as governor.  As always, it's in the courts.  Supervisor Bill Gates (not the Microsoft one) is in a secure location.  If Cochise still refuses to certify, all ballots cast there will be tossed, probably resulting in another Democratic member of Congress.  Keep up the good work.

Meanwhile Ronna McDaniel has announced a new "Advisory Council" to search for the red wave that never arrived.  It's full of fresh new faces like Kellyanne Conway, Tony Perkins of the anti-LGBTQ Family Research Council, weird loser Blake Masters, Alabama Senator-elect Katie Britt and a couple of token minorities.  I'll save you some time:  Their conclusion will be "Keep doing what we're doing, harder and meaner.  Also, Hunter Biden's laptop." 

Running smoothly under new management, Twitter is evidently not meeting payroll for its European staff, which might have something to do with the enormous layoffs.  Loathing for the new owner is apparently spilling over into road-rage directed at Tesla drivers, who report being "heckled, cut off in traffic and blocked from charging stations."  Some drivers say it's the same old anti-e.v. abuse they have long suffered, especially from truckers.  Others are trading in Teslas for VWs, preferring a ride whose origin is entangled in the Third Reich to a Muskmobile.

According to the 2021 census, a minority of people in England and Wales now identify as Christian, with Birmingham and Leicester the first "minority majority" cities.  The survey did not distinguish among Christian denominations but the Church of England was already down to 12 percent in 2018.  Another 37.2 percent of people say they have no religion, up from 14.8 percent in 2001.  This is a big deal in a country with an established church and compulsory religious instruction in most schools.

Russia is accusing the pope of racism.  Pope Francis said in an interview that the more egregious war crimes in Ukraine are being committed by Chechen and Buryat troops who are Muslim and Buddhist rather than Christian.  He offered no evidence.  Ethnic minorities are disproportionately represented in the Russian army but the cruelty seems to be the point regardless of origins.  Alexandra Garmazhapova, founder of the anti-war Free Buryatia group, suggested the pope condemn Putin and the Orthodox Church instead, which seems fair.  Last June he suggested the invasion was "perhaps somehow provoked" by NATO, to which Ukraine does not belong.  Maybe politics is not Francis's strength.  Maybe this is why Christianity is losing adherents.

Handcuffed in the back of a police van and unrestrained by a seatbelt, a Black man suffered a broken neck and is paralyzed.  No, not Freddie Gray, it happened again in New Haven, Connecticut.  Randy Cox hit his head when the van stopped suddenly, begged for help and was mocked and ignored.  The police hauled him out, used a wheelchair to transport him and dumped him in a holding cell without any medical attention.  Now the five have been arrested and charged with misdemeanors.  All charges against Cox were dropped a month ago.  But he's 36 and will spend the rest of his life paralyzed.

Like Nikki "Deport Warnock" Haley, Herschel Walker thinks it's his job to decide who belongs here.  "If you know a place better, you go there, but you'll lose your citizenship here," he told people who think there are things about America that need changing.  America's been very good to him, a savant with a talent for catching spheroids.  Moreover, people born since 1990 "haven't earned the right" to change the country.  How one earns this right he didn't specify, but most active-duty service members are 32 or younger.  Did Walker serve?  Don't be silly.  He claims he founded a program for veterans called Patriot Support but even that is bullshit.  Herschel, playing for the Cowboys doesn't count as national service just because they call themselves "America's Team."  And why are you claiming (for tax purposes) that your house in Texas is your primary residence?

In news of what Basil Fawlty would call "the bleeding obvious," a report from the Senate Homeland Security Committee says the government "fails to comprehensively track and report data on domestic terrorism," in part because the FBI and DHS have had different definitions of terrorism since 2019, which muddies the statistics.  It's not your imagination or the liberal media:  Violence is up across the board.  So tell me again why I can't bring six ounces of hand lotion on a plane but Payton Gendron can bring an arsenal to the supermarket.



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