Sunday, November 13, 2022



The Republicans are accepting last week's Red Mist with all the grace you would expect, led by the ultimate loser himself:  "They stole the Electron [sic] from Blake Masters!  Do Election over again!"  The "Voting Machines" were sabotaged in Republican districts -- very bad planning on Governor Ducey's part.  "People were forced to wait for hours, they got exhausted or had other things to do and left the voting lines by the thousands."  Of course Arizonans can vote by mail but choose to stand in the heat (it's a dry heat) because...I don't know.  Blame the system, blame the voters who are too lazy to stand in line, blame everyone but the repulsive Blake Masters and the even more appalling Kari Lake.

Yes, "they" stole the electron from her, too.  Lake called a small group who call themselves Patriots Rise Up to protest the continued counting of ballots in Maricopa County.  She wants them to quit while she's ahead (she currently isn't).  Same old thing.  Mark Finchem will not be secretary of state, either.  In fact election deniers who promised to finesse future elections for the Republicans lost in Nevada and Michigan where they ran for secretary of state, as did gubernatorial deniers Doug Mastriano and Tim Michels.  They aren't even yelling "Fraud!"  Too late, they realized that voters don't like it.

But the red whine continues to flow and the clueless remain without clue.  For instance, Ted Cruz:  "Why did the Democrats do better than expected?  Because for two years they have governed as liberals.  They've governed as whacked out lefty nut jobs...That excited a bunch of young voters."  Oh, Ted, you were so close but then you drifted off...these kids today with their reefer and their crazy hip-hop music, always wanting the abortions and the Medicare for all...listen to wise old Jesse Watters:

"Single women and voters under 40 have been captured by Democrats.  So we need these ladies to get married."  So near and yet so not, Jesse.  Married women always do as their husbands tell them, and married men vote Republican?  Start again.

Senator Catherine Cortez Masto has been re-elected in Nevada.  Did you hear that, Lindsey Graham?  "There is no mathematical way [Adam] Laxalt loses.  If he does, then it's a lie."  Your life may be a lie but the AP called it last night.  All those red spaces on the map of Nevada?  Sand doesn't vote.

"Literally everything in our society and culture is aligned against Republicans.  It's a miracle Republicans win anywhere.  Every television and media outlet in America is against us, all the celebrities, all the good movie actors, I mean you name it."  Well, Marco Rubio, probably not that miraculous in Florida, with the governissimo's election police perp-marching Black voters who later have to be released because they haven't done anything wrong; and with DeSantis's executive order post-Hurricane Ian making it easier to vote in Republican districts but not in Orange County.  But sure, blame Cher.

Judge Jeanine gets closest:  "So many people voted on issues that weren't the issues we thought they were voting on.  We thought it was about the economy, inflation, crime..."  Issues where you can blame Joe Biden and add more than a soupcon of racism.  No!  Turns out we don't want deniers who can make every election a foregone conclusion, and we don't want the Opus Dei court telling us when to procreate.  We're whacked out lefty nut jobs!  We want schools that teach real history, and libraries that stock all books and host Drag Queen Story Hour.  We want people who are happy with their gender.  We want non-Christians to know this is their country, too.  We don't want children's DNA on file against the inevitable day when they are shot to pieces in the classroom.  

We also don't want this guy:  "We need to take control of the government, take control of the media and force the people to believe what we believe or force them to play by our rules, and reshape the society..."  Even Paul Gosar is edging away from Nick Fuentes, saying, "Nick's got a problem with his mouth."  He probably doesn't mean an impacted wisdom tooth.  That's the choice you face, lady and gentlemen.  You can stay on the ice floe with Trump, Greene, Mastriano, Lake, Bannon, Bundy, Rhodes, Lindell, Giuliani and the rest, or you can clamber back on land and play by our rules.

Has anyone asked who Trump voted for?  I mean for governor.  Shield your eyes and ears. 


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