Wednesday, September 14, 2022

President votes! Film at eleven

 Yesterday was primary day in Delaware and Joe Biden voted.  That's the news, according to Jennifer Jacobs of Bloomberg News, who grabbed her phone and tweeted the astonishing information that this involved motorcades, a shiny big airplane and who knows how much in expenditure.  And when he was supposed to be in his office ending inflation and curing cancer.  Jacobs is shocked.  

Yes, he could have used an absentee ballot but this is a midterm election, when reminding people to go and vote is a big part of the battle.  Yes, he would have preferred to ride Amtrak -- he loves Amtrak -- but that would have disrupted the morning commute for thousands of people and still made the Secret Service anxious.  It's not the nineteenth century, when even Lincoln had to sneak into Washington in 1861 to foil assassins.  

The organizers of Queen Elizabeth's funeral next Monday have asked world leaders to travel on scheduled airlines and ride buses from Heathrow to Westminster Abbey.  Guess what?  Joe Biden's not doing that either.  He will land at an RAF base in the scaled-down 757 version of Air Force One, and he will be driven in The Beast as usual.  Because the President of the United States, like the Emperor of Japan, does not take the bus.  If Jennifer Jacobs doesn't like it, tough.  And need I add, weekly golf jaunts, Mar a Lago, etc?  

The news about Biden has been too good and the media can't stand it.  The Census Bureau's Supplemental Poverty Measure shows that child poverty fell from 9.7% to 5.2% last year, largely due to tax credits during the covid pandemic.  Although inflation rose by 0.1%, gas prices are falling almost everywhere.  Biden's approval rating, for what that's worth, also picked up five percentage points in August.  People seem to like the climate bill, the (admittedly inadequate) student loan cancellations, the renewable energy action.  When you're sitting next to the air conditioner because it's 120 degrees outside, you have a lot of time to think about doing things differently.

To judge by the regular appearance of his swollen orange face, it's Trump the media (like MSNBC) would prefer to talk about.  Good copy.  High ratings!  So let's see what's going on in the alternate world where he's perpetually important for some reason:

Ken Starr, who tried to hound Bill Clinton out of office for consensual adultery but ignored rape and sexual assault on his campus as president of Baylor University, is dead.  He was one of the dream team who defended Trump in the first impeachment trial.  He persuaded federal prosecutors to drop their case against Trump pal Jeffrey Epstein.  He hired Brett Kavanaugh to help harass Clinton and re-re-open the "investigation" of Vincent Foster's suicide.  Monica Lewinsky, whose life he mangled, graciously remarked, "It's a painful loss for those who love him."   I would rather quote Jackie "Moms" Mabley:  "You should only say good things about the dead.  He's dead.  Good."  Trump, of course, thanked him for "his thoughts that our cause against fascists and other mentally sick people in our Country is just."  I think he's taking rhetoric lessons from Herschel Walker.

Election fraud in New York!  Allegedly.  Republican elections commissioner for Rensselaer County Jason Schofield was arrested for using the names of registered voters to apply for absentee ballots in 2021.  No doubt Ron Johnson will claim he only did it to test the system.  Say!  Isn't that Elise Stefanik's district?

Maybe this came up as you scrolled through Ministry of Truth Social today -- kidding! -- and you wondered "What the fuck now?"  The majesty of the United States is gone because the FBI, looking into the breach of Dominion voting machines in Mesa County, Colorado, seized the phone of Pillow Mike as he awaited his order at a Minnesota Hardee's.  (In Trumpworld there's always a junk food connection.)  Weaponized Police State indeed.  Hardee's didn't hold back, either:

Rudolph Giuliani survived a brutal assault in a Staten Island supermarket, a "massive" left-created heart attack (angioplasty) and an hours-long grilling in front of the special Fulton County grand jury and he's still doing his podcast.  On Sunday his guest was Micki Witthoeft, mother of angel-martyr Ashli Babbitt.  Withoeft claims her daughter would have been treated better had she been a Black woman shot by a white cop.  (Breonna Taylor's mother may disagree.)  As Witthoeft characterizes the insurrection, "There are a million people there to address the government and they made an attempt to kill the First Amendment," so batshit Trumpism runs in families.  Today she got a call from King MAGA Himself while attending a rally at the DC jail where the "political prisoners" are being denied their right to mingle with the other criminals.

Did you ever have the feeling that you had to leave, and still have the feeling that you wanna stay?  Maggie Haberman is taking a lot of criticism for waiting until her new book to "reveal" that Trump refused to depart the White House as January 20, 2021, approached.  "We're never leaving," he told an underling.  "How can you leave when you won an election?"  I'm sorry but this is proof of nothing but his emotional underdevelopment and overall mental incapacity.  It would have been more fun than Bernie's mittens to see two Marines frog-marching him out a side entrance, but it didn't happen.  He and whatsername just sent the butlers home, locked the door and left with their customary grace, pocketing random bits of bric-a-brac.  Let Maggie sell her book.  I doubt she'll get one out of the Bidens.

More junk food.  Jan Stawovy was arrested at a Dairy Queen in Delmont, Pennsylvania, with three loaded handguns and 62 rounds of ammunition.  Wearing a yellow safety vest and a clown wig, he said he had come to "restore Trump as president" and "kill all the Democrats."  Also, he's a prophet who was working with the state police.  Police arrested him before he could even order a Blizzard.  One less vote for Mehmet Oz, who trails John Fetterman by nine points.  No Democrats were harmed.




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