Thursday, June 16, 2022

Not guilty

 It's hard to start a career at 67.  It's even harder when you are principally known as The Guy That Shot Ronald Reagan.  John Hinckley, Jr., was booked into the Market Hotel in Brooklyn, New York, for his professional debut on July 8 ("a memorable night" was promised) but has now been cancelled.  In a press release the hotel described it as "a message that mental health issues and a criminal past" can be overcome.  "There was a time when a place could host a thing like this...and the reaction would be, 'It's just a guy playing a show, who does it hurt -- it's a free country.'  We aren't living in that kind of free country anymore, for better or for worse."  Yes, it's all our fault.  We're too politically correct, or too woke, or too unforgiving to let bygones be bygones.  That's why Charlie Manson, another singer-songwriter, died in prison, man.

I didn't even like Reagan but I refuse to be blamed when someone capitalizing on his only claim to notoriety gets his gig cancelled.  Neither do I accept "some responsibility" for the January 6 coup attempt as Kevin McCarthy says I should.  "Based upon what has been going on...the riots on the streets, the others."  He said this today, so I assume he means the huge gun-control rallies over the weekend which his party is strenuously ignoring.  Or possibly the arrest of the thugs targeting LGBTQ events.  Who or what are "the others"?  The eighty-one million of us who angered Trump by voting for Biden?  I guess we had it coming, but why did Mike Pence need to be hanged?  Why did Mitt Romney need his life saved by Officer Eugene Goodman?  Why was McCarthy calling ABC "from a secure location" when he indicted the whole country?  

Despite the many poor life choices he has made and continues to make, Rudolph Giuliani chose to blame Diet Pepsi for the catastrophic advice he gave his principal client on election night ("Just say you won"), accusing "Jason Miller and Bill Steppien [sic]" of lying about his inebriation.  But that tweet has disappeared like a fart in a hearing room.  Perhaps Pepsi's lawyers protested, as Sanofi did when Roseanne Barr blamed Ambien for her racism.

The fact that America's future may be foretold in Tangipahoa Parish, Louisiana, is sobering and enraging, but here we are.  Sixteen years ago Crysta Abelseth was raped by John Barnes, a much older man, and gave birth to a daughter.  Barnes is what they call "well-connected," so he was never convicted.  In 2011 he found out about his daughter and sued for custody; the court granted Barnes (whose company does business with the Ponchatoula Police) full custody and ordered Abelseth to pay him child support.  Criminal charges against Barnes are "under seal" and the police say they're investigating, no doubt very hard.  At least Barnes isn't suing Abelseth for defamation.

A 77-year-old businessman and sociopath wants to be president.  Relax, it's Colombia.  Did I mention he admires Hitler?  Don't they all?  Rodolfo Hernandez -- oh, just read it.

As the state struggles with unprecedented floods, the Montana Free Press says it has tracked down Governor Greg Gianforte:  he is out of the country on a "long-scheduled personal trip" with his wife.  If he's in Cancun I may lose it.

Speaking of that fine resort city, frequent visitor Ted Cruz blamed Chuck Schumer for "unleashing the radicals" who nearly killed poor Brett Kavanaugh and other defenders of a fetus's right to choose.  He threw down to his pal Sean Hannity's Insanity Hootenanny and accused Democrats of planning an "insurrection" against the Supreme Court.  Interesting choice of words, Distract-Ted.

Herschel Walker likes to rant about absent fathers, so it's a good thing he is running for the Senate.  So far this week three previously unknown Walker children have come to light and now he can be part of their lives, if not necessarily the lives of their three mothers.  He likes to talk about his son Christian, who is 22 and no longer requires court-ordered support.  Stay tuned.

It's breathtaking, but it doesn't look like a strawberry.  I assume that's a name that derives from seasonal fruit, like Blackberry Winter.  



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