Monday, May 16, 2022

It's all true!

 Se non e vero e ben trovato, says the adage ("If it's not real it damn well should be").  Well, I believe the Republicans are using a secret weapon against Democrats similar to "Havana Syndrome," the mysterious neurological disorder afflicting diplomats who have lived in Cuba.  In February Senator Ben Ray Lujan of New Mexico had a stroke, recovering just in time to vote for the confirmation of Judge Ketanji Brown Jackson.  This week Senator Chris Van Hollen of Maryland also had a stroke and remains hospitalized.  And days before the Pennsylvania primary Lieutenant Governor John Fetterman, a candidate for the Senate, announced that he is recovering from a stroke.  Do you believe in coincidence?  How about leprechauns?

White racist inspired by Trump and Tucker Carlson drives to Buffalo to kill ten Black people with easily obtained military-style weapons.  It can't be that simple.  Was the poor kid let down by (Biden's) failing mental health system (Margie Greene)?  Was he radicalized by violent video games (Jon Scott of Fox News)?  Gendron was a federal agent.  Another false flag event to touch off a race war (Arizona psychopath Wendy Rogers).  No, Future Governor Kandiss Taylor for the win:  Gendron is a "furry," a perversion she has already addressed in Executive Order #6SJ7GT.  Governor JesusGunsBabies already has a public school dress code which will forbid students to dress as animals, which is apparently out of control.  I wonder if Governor Kandiss knows the Queen of Canada.

I hate to say it but Margie Greene isn't completely wrong about the failure of the mental health industry.  In Canada, too.

Anyway, something is attacking our brains.  Could it be PFAS?  (Per- and Polyfluoroalkyl Substances), the "forever chemicals" we've been using since the 1940s to achieve non-stick frying pans, microwave popcorn bags, stain-repellent carpet and other miracles.  Even if you live in Borneo and never leave, you have been exposed and probably absorbed this stuff.  I choose to believe it's been at least partially responsible for everything from Trump to Brexit to that Austrian guy who locked his daughter in the cellar for twenty-four years and impregnated her seven times (Republican governors, please read).  Some historians think the Roman Empire was fatally weakened by lead-lined water pipes and cooking vessels long before it was destroyed by Christianity.  Nobody knows what this shit is doing to us, or how long it's been doing it.  JAMA recommends you donate blood and plasma.  Pass it on to someone else!  That's the ticket.

Here's an amusing cartoon I saw before I read the rumor about Putin's "blood cancer."  Now it's not so amusing.  What if he thinks, "Fuck it, I'll take everybody with me"?

Maybe it's for the best.  Enjoy the spring weather while you can.


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