Tuesday, April 19, 2022

It's WTAF Tuesday

 According to the Pew Research Center in 2020, sixty-five percent of Americans identified themselves as Christians.  (I don't think "Pew" refers to the uncomfortable seats in churches but you never know.)  So why do so many of them whine so much about being oppressed?  Because it's not a hundred percent?  

Jack Jensz, Jr., CEO of something called Kingdom Realm, pulled out a guitar and inflicted "Christian" music on the passengers of this unidentified airline, then posted the atrocity on Instagram.  The expression on the man in the plaid shirt says it all.  Nobody stopped him because I wasn't on that flight, or a team of surgeons would now be laboring...never mind.  As word of the assault spread virally, Rep. Ilhan Omar was bemused by the Christian entitlement on display:  "I think my family and I should have a prayer session next time I am on a plane.  How do you think it will end?"  OMAR HATES CHRISTIANS!  GO BACK WHERE YOU CAME FROM! was pretty much the measured response.  Since people have been hauled off American planes for reading Italian or "looking Arab," the Congresswoman knows perfectly well how it will end.   She wears the hijab.

A guitar player triggered a different controversy over at the Fox house, where a lady commenter who goes by Kennedy became unhinged because the play-off music after her segment was Springsteen's "Glory Days."  I checked and it's devoid of political content, just an ironic comment about the disappointments of getting older, but "he's turned into a massive pinko," she whined (is that expression coming back?).  Her show is called "Outnumbered" because the right also have to assert their bravery in the face of overwhelming odds.  The idea that Springsteen might not want them to use his music just proves how "cancelled" they are, day after day.

Malcolm Nance, the former Naval intelligence officer who is a commentator on MSNBC, has joined the International Legion of Defense fighting for Ukraine.  He is sixty years old.  He calls it "an existential war" and asks that Joe Biden provide Ukraine with long-range artillery, which sounds moderate enough.  Meanwhile and in keeping with our theme of "Why is ev'rybody always pickin' on me?" Putin fanboy Tucker Carlson, 52, has produced a show called "The End of Men" about how masculinity is being destroyed by, well, pretty much everything woke and mean and feminist.  Baby Tuckoo, however, is getting no closer to the real shooting than maybe Bermuda.  See what you mean about the big drop in testosterone there, Tuckoo.

Now at least one thing makes sense:  Heidi Cruz's assertion that "Ted does not tan his testicles" didn't come out of thin air.  Evidently nude cow-milking and push-ups and what-not figure in the doc, which I now want to see.  There's a naked guy "charging" his testicles, which immediately called up Adolf Eichmann's nutty scheme (cited in Arendt's Eichmann in Jerusalem) for sterilizing Jews.  But if Trumpanzees want to fry their little swimmers, I have no objections.

I love it when Republicans go to war against big business, so I'm sending out for popcorn to follow DeSantis versus Disney.  The flabby-faced fascist wants the legislature to repeal a law from 1967 that makes Disney a self-governing entity within Florida, even operating its own power grid.  That's how desperate they were back then to get a theme park built in Orlando.  It's the state's biggest employer, but maybe not for long.  DeSantis wants a cold war with Georgia if That Woman becomes governor.  Disney is a lot bigger and richer than Georgia.

All Kevin Berling wanted was to work at his job at Gravity Diagnostics in Covington, Kentucky.  What he got was an office birthday party he specifically asked them not to throw.  Now, for having "Happy Birthday" sung at him against his will, a jury has awarded him $450,000 for lost wages and emotional distress.  It will be a long time before Gravity employees are even asked to sign a card for Sarah in HR, I'm guessing.  (Full disclosure:  I hate that song.)

I never heard of the Salish Sea (between British Columbia and Washington), but it's where a pod of orcas attacked a humpback whale named Valiant and got their dorsal fins handed to them.  Valiant had had enough and turned on the nine killer whales/dolphins, scattering them.  It seems Valiant had a traumatic childhood experience and never forgot.  I propose re-naming him "Zelensky."

For the first time in twelve years a relief restaurant affiliated with World Central Kitchen was damaged by Russian shelling in a civilian area of Kharkiv.  Four employees were injured.  But they're still cooking.


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