Friday, October 15, 2021

Did anyone ask?

The source of all wisdom Wikipedia defines the Streisand Effect as "a phenomenon that occurs when an attempt to hide, remove or censor information has the unintended consequence of increasing awareness of that information."  In other words, keep your big mouth shut.  Fortunately Trump never learned to do that, whether the topic is the size of his penis or conspiring with Russia.  So when the National Republican Senatorial Committee met in Palm Beach for his convenience, he treated them to some new material based on very old material.  In the midst of oldies about the "stolen" election, how he personally saved a dying party and "phony impeachment" (singular) the congregation suddenly heard this:

"I'm not into golden showers.  You know the great thing, our great First Lady -- 'That one,' she said, 'I don't believe that one.'"   

Like Adele releasing a new single after six years, that became the story.  He can't remember the source of the "pee tape" rumor (the Steele dossier), he can't remember the name of "our great First Lady," and now we have to wonder what she does believe about her feckless prenup partner, but he definitely does not enjoy this particular kink.  Well, I never thought he did.  He's a germophobe who can't stand the sight of blood and ran in disgust from a room where a woman was nursing.  He didn't want George Bush's casket on "his" plane even when he wasn't on board.  Cemeteries creep him out.  Whatever Putin has on him of a sexual (as opposed to financial or legal) nature probably involves underage girls and is perfectly kosher in Moscow.  But urine, nyet.  

So why bring it up?  Dementia?  Indiscretion?  Inability to read a room even when it's full of toadies?  Tell us what else you're "not into" -- exercise, vegetarian food, ramps, women who resist, women who aren't attractive enough to be photographed with you, women who head successful countries like Germany, women who call you "mushroom penis" and sue you, dogs, birds, toilets that struggle to handle your enormous dumps, lawyers who want to get paid, did I omit most of the world that isn't even white?  

Talking of debt-plagued lawyers, do you remember signing one of your many books to Rudolph Giuliani?  "The best mayor N.Y.C. has ever had!" just sold it at auction for $54,143.  He currently lacks a law license in New York and the District of Columbia because of your loopy claims of election fraud and, well, I guess you know how alimony bills mount up.  Please don't be too angry, he really really likes you.  It's kind of pathetic.  I'm sure he has signed baseballs that would bring in more but he's holding onto them.  

It's been a week of indiscretions.  Lindsey Graham -- you remember him, he's currently in disgrace for saying the talk of election rigging in Georgia is so much chin music -- went to Sean Hannity to denounce the Biden administration for calling off immigration raids at job sites (they're going after the employers of the undocumented instead).  He also proclaimed that "forty thousand Brazilians" have crossed the southern border sporting "designer clothes and Gucci bags" and headed for those lucrative day-labor jobs in Connecticut.  Anyone but Hannity would have laughed out loud.  If I were a senator about whom rumors regularly circulate, in a party where homophobia would be a plank in the platform if they were still allowed to have one, I would conceal my ability to tell Gucci from Louis Vuitton at a glance.  But I'm not. 

Glenn Youngkin is an ardent Trumpite and candidate for governor of Virginia, but when Pigpen Bannon showed up at his "Take Back Virginia" rally with a flag he swore had been carried in the January 6 coup attempt, Youngkin suggested it might not be exactly a good idea to pledge allegiance to it.  After all, we only have Pigpen's word, it's not as if it's stained with the blood of Martyr Ashli Babbitt.  His opponent Terry McAuliffe is campaigning with Stacey Abrams, who is awesome, so I trust Virginians to do the right thing and give Glenn a chance to scream FRAUD AT POLLS!

Bill Clinton is recovering in a California hospital from a urinary tract infection.  Funny how everything comes back to piss today.  



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