Thursday, July 08, 2021

To what end?

 Today's title comes from an old joke about a Texan and an English clergyman sitting side by side on a flight across the Atlantic.  In the course of their conversation the Texan can't help boasting, "You know, you could put Britain inside Texas ten times."  After a pause the vicar replies, "Yes, but to what end?"

Alberto and Giuseppe Rosso, evidently brothers of Pecetto Torinese, Piedmont, have grown the world's largest cherry, clocking in at 33.05 grams (1.16 ounces).  I have read the article twice and nowhere does it mention flavor.  What's the point of a giant mutant cherry if it tastes like a bocce ball?

"It's a happy building...It's communicative, it's expressive, and it's supposed to make people happy," says James Dilley, the architect of Edinburgh's new W Hotel.  Not yet completed, it has already been named Worst Building in the World in an online poll, its profile compared to an immense jobby (Scottish for turd).  You decide.

I think it looks like New York's Guggenheim Museum unraveling.

Cue West Side Story music!  Warren Buffett and Elon Musk are about to throw down on the subject of cryptocurrency.  We haven't had a good crazy financial bubble since tech stocks in the 1990s.

I was wrong.  Trump does have a sense of humor, it's just not like a normal human's.  Today's appalling revelation is not from Michael Wolff or Michael Bender but former National Security Council member Kirsten Fontenrose, who has never recovered from The Big Liar's "fixation" on bone saws after he learned about the murder and dismemberment of Jamal Khashoggi.  "I've been in difficult negotiations.  I've never taken a bone saw," became his favorite witticism.  A journalist gruesomely killed on orders of his orb-buddy Prince Mohammed Bin Salman -- I can see why it was irresistible.

The Wisconsin Assembly has again taken up a bill to make colby the Official State Cheese.  A fine snack with a big honking tasteless Italian cherry.  Allegedly.

Cryptographers are struggling with a pronouncement from Ptomaine Lauren Boebert which reads, "COVID-19 mutated into Communism a long time ago."  I for one am relieved that she can't spell "Holocaust."

In poll after poll the vast majority of Americans support legal abortion, so Glenn Youngkin, Republican candidate for governor of Virginia, has decided that lying about his anti-choice views is the only way to attract independent voters.  He was recorded at a campaign event assuring reporter Lauren Windsor that he is "staunchly pro-life" but can't say so until he's governor.  Hey, Glenn, you just got the Borat treatment!  But keep telling us about that "rip-roaring" economy you plan to create.

Nancy Pelosi has Had It with the Big Liar and his slander of the police who tried to shield her House from the January 6 home invaders.  To her, he is now just the "twice-impeached Florida retiree."  And the retiree continues his life-long grift, charging We the People over $10,000 to rent rooms in May to the Secret Service who still have to protect his misshapen carcass.  Janet Yellen should pay his bill as soon as he pays his lawyers.  And contractors, if they're still alive.

For sale:  US Department of Justice (currently unavailable).  USA Today is reporting that Princess Latifah was seeking asylum in the United States when she was kidnapped by commandos with the help of the FBI and returned to her father, Mohammed al-Maktoum, the prime minister of the United Arab Emirates.  So Kristi Noem renting out her National Guard to a Tennessee plutocrat isn't even original.  I trust Bill Barr got his very own orb.


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