Monday, June 21, 2021

The island of Dr. Moron

I always look forward to Trump's Holiday Greetings, a literary genre which always manages to be about him.  Yesterday:  "Happy Father's Day to all, including the Radical Left, RINOs, and other Losers of the world.  Hopefully, eventually, everyone will come together!"  (No, I don't where it was posted, possibly the "rate this product" page on Amazon.)  The Chief Loser wants all to have a good day although, according to Stormy Daniels, coming together is not one of his priorities.  Do you think Princess, Fredo and Other Fredo clubbed together on a card?  They wished him a happy birthday on Twitter, which is wonderfully cruel.  That's because Mr. DeJoyBoy charges half a buck for a stamp, soon rising to 53 cents to pay for machines to replace the ones he smashed to discourage voting.  I can't wait for January:  "Happy New Year even to Antifa and Marxist Democrats who will soon witness my return to power!!"

Another week, another appalling revelation.  According to Nightmare Scenario:  Inside the Trump Administration's Response To the Pandemic That Changed History by Yasmeen Abutaleb and Damian Paletta, during a meeting in February 2020 Trump said, "We import goods.  We are not going to import a virus."  Advised that cases of covid-19 were already being reported he responded, "Don't we have an island that we own?  What about Guantanamo?"  That's adorable -- he thinks Guantanamo is an island and not a part of Cuba.  Less adorable of course is wanting to turn it into a sort of leper colony for sick Americans.  But there's also a hilarious exchange between Trump and his HHS Secretary Alex Azar:  "Testing is killing me!  I'm going to lose the election because of testing!  What idiot had the federal government do testing?"  "Uh, do you mean Jared?"  The excerpt in the Washington Post is filled with dialogue like this, suitable for the inevitable movie.  ("Black comedy mixed with farce" -- Rotten Tomatoes)

Is Ron Johnson from Wisconsin the stupidest senator of this batch or of all time?  The question will be debated by historians, but for now let us just note that after single-handedly blocking the bill to make Juneteenth a national holiday last year, this cafone showed up at a Juneteenth celebration in Milwaukee.  His constituents were not warm in their welcome.  Wait till Cyber Ninjas show up to "audit" their votes -- and you know they will.  (The official recount in Milwaukee County actually added to Biden's total last year so, you know, last-minute Chinese ballots.  What else could it be?)

Trump lives on handouts from his followers, so he can't he pleased that his Commerce Secretary, Wilbur Ross, made at least $53 million during his four years of public service.  Ross has set himself up in the tax haven Cayman Islands so he can keep it all, too.  

Several states encourage drivers to kill or maim demonstrators who annoy them, but this does not yet extend to bicyclists.  A motorist in Show Low, Arizona, drove his truck into bikers early Saturday morning on Highway 60, injuring six, and was himself shot by police.  The bikers were taking part in a benefit race for Mountain Christian School.  Obviously Arizona Man was unaware that they were On a Mission From God.

False Flag is so last month.  The hot new Trump Wuz Robbed fantasy is known as ItalyGate, called by TPM "the crown jewel of conspiracy theories."  This version comes with extra snark, and pictures!    Everything you could want is here -- Obama financing the fraud, Somali pirates, a defunct Icelandic airline, the horse country of Virginia, a Bush operative deliriously named Hans von Spakovsky, and the mysterious Michele Ballarin (among other names) who I'm pretty sure once claimed to be the Grand Duchess Anastasia.  Meryl Streep, call your agent.  (Even more here.)

This is why I don't want anything in my house that calls itself "smart":  As the heat continues, Texans are being urged by ERCOT to raise the thermostats on their air conditioning, and when I say urged,  I mean people who don't comply are finding them automatically raised.  This is Texas, you understand, where  any attempt to regulate machine guns or make it less arduous to vote is denounced as Washington tyranny, but nobody seems to be threatening secession over this home invasion.  Not so tough now, eh?  Should have read the small print before you signed up for a smart thermostat.  Alexa, show me flights to Antarctica.




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